Hair it Is

I did it! I went through with it. I'm pretty pleased with the results. I got some new colors foiled in, plus many, many inches gone. Part on a new side. Pretty much like the second Heidi photo, but my part is deep instead of center. Styling makes it look different too a bit.

Aaaaaaaand.....






Should have done some from the back. . . oh well. Some short, swingy layers back there too.

Hair Apparent

OK, after my whiny post I do have a slightly interesting blog topic if you care about hair. I'm still putting the call out, though.

My whole life I have had long, long hair. It's gotten wavier as I've gotten older. It's thick, but fine. It's a very in-between blonde color, which I have been regularly highlighting since, oh, I was 13. (It has a very ashy cast otherwise--grayish).

But the time has come. I need an update. I've lost all interest in doing anything with my hair, even though it's nice. I need an update. I had already been feeling that, but then my mom confirmed that maybe I needed a little hair makeover. And hey, if you can't count on your mom for the truth, who can you count on?

So my hair looks about like this now:


This was at the Kalaheo Coffee Company, where William and I had AWESOME breakfasts, our first morning in Kauai. (PS--I'm really mad because I think I lost my trip journal from this trip, you know, THE MOST IMPORTANT TRIP EVER, and I'm just disgusted with myself. . . ) Anyway, this is a pretty good hair day, nice humidity level in Hawaii, and I styled it.

Here are the following photos of Heidi Klum which I am taking under consideration to show my stylist Tuesday. Input is welcome... or other pictures you think I can take on? I need a little image update, but I don't want to take off too much length.

Love this but don't know if I can pull off the bangs:



Then if I get that cut, I could fluff and curl it into this?:



And yet another take on it:


And yes, I know I will not magically transform into her face, despite my hopes, nor will I achieve her thigh circumference.

Help plz. Any input good.

No Way In Elle

So, do any of you have a subscription to Elle Décor?

If so, step away from the screen, find the June 2008 issue, open it up to page 110, the travel feature about the Twin Cities.

See that photo of the restaurant/bar with people inside, with the orange glow? The girl seated at the bar in the yellow dress (with poor posture) is me, the handsome devil seated to my left is William.

OK seriously. I never thought we'd ever appear on the pages of Elle Décor. Imagine my surprise when William and I discovered it.

Money, It's a Crime

Today I saw in the NY Times:

Women Are Now Equal as Victims of Poor Economy

Uncomfortable Answers to Questions on the Economy

Given a Shovel, Americans Dig Deeper Into Debt


Woes Afflicting Mortgage Giants Raise Loan Rates

Two Troubled Banks Each Post Billions in Losses

Losses Mount, and Airlines Plan Steeper Spending Cuts


Trying to Save by Increasing Doctors' Fees


The Culture of Debt


Now, I've been feeling these pinches, for sure. I've been essentially "underemployed" since March, now just drawing my first paycheck (and not a full one, yet). I have definitely noticed food prices going up, and I'm definitely spending twice as much on gas as I did when we first moved into our place. I have been one of the unemployed masses. At times in my life, I have made some stupid decisions on how to handle money. I'm sure I'm not alone here.

But this transition time has been especially hard. I get paid once a month now, and my first paycheck wasn't a full (or barely even half) a pay period. I had tapered off my freelance quite a bit since I was in Hawaii and then working on getting a full time gig. So I essentially have like...a week and a half's worth of money to last until August 15. It sucks. Hard. Worse than college, because now I have more worries, more responsibilities, and more expensive taste.

Times is tough. All over. I know I'm not alone. But being broke can be sort of isolating, if you can't spend money and your friends are going out.

So what I'm saying is . . . if you know me in real life and notice I am not around much in the next few weeks socially, I'm not avoiding anyone or being too cool (trust me, I'd rather go out!). I simply do not have the cash, and won't for a while. (and maybe even extendo-awhile since I need to get a new mattress before I break my back.)

If you want to join in on a cheap bottle of wine and some CD-playing, I'll be in my living room.

And while I'm at it, once I get used to a steady paycheck again, I'm trying to be more fiscally responsible, too, so I'm trying to figure out ways to cut back and save more. Kat on a budget. Boooooo.

Quite a Week

I guess I had myself really fooled that life would slow down after the wedding.

This week has been insane.

I think the day that best illustrates it was the day of the photo shoot of our house...running around for flowers and props, cleaning, and then a shoot that culminated in jumping on the bed with William, hands joined.

Which broke our bed.

Yeah, I wasn't really in the market for a new mattress since this one is only about five years old.

Awesome.

Anything You Want, You Got It Part II

Here's me, trying to not be nervous before the wedding. I'm standing at the top of the stairs that led onto the beach, and my mom is pinning flowers in my hair. In my hand is my something blue, a handkerchief my grandma carried at her wedding, my mom carried at hers, and my sister carried at hers.


Our minister, blowing the conch shell to begin the wedding ceremony:


My honey, with his back to the chaos behind him, waiting to come down the stairs to the beach. We had requested not to see each other before the wedding.


I think this was the look on William's face when he saw me for the first time, but I can't be sure.


My daddy, walking me down the sandy aisle:


Our first moments with our gorgeous wedding party:


I don't know where we are in the ceremony here, but I like that we both appear to be giggling.


Serenaded by our guitarist, who sang us the Hawaiian Wedding Song (again, look at that wedding party):


Oooh! The ring!


Ooh! His ring!


we actually kissed four times in the ceremony. Here's a shot of one of them:


...And here's the final kiss, which sealed the total deal. Look how happy our minister looks!


Being announced as man and wife. This photo makes me giggle. One reason why: check out my best girl in green. I love how she's laughing at me.


We did it!


After the ceremony and portrait shots to come!

A Little More Aloha

I just have to mention my last post, which was a stupid post, was my 200th post! A little anniversary to enjoy.

I was just going through some old files on my computer and tossing things in the trash. We're doing housecleaning and I figured I could do a little computer cleaning, too. While doing said cleaning, I came across a document that was our guide to the place we stayed in Kauai.

It made my heart hurt.

I miss using the words lanai, aloha, mahalo. I miss sounding out the street names. I miss tree tunnels and mountains and white sandy beaches. And while I don't miss wedding planning--and am relieved to have it over—I do miss the anticipation of jetting off to my beloved Hawaii. Everyone likes to have a trip looming in the future, right?

Whenever I get stressed out, I usually come around to thinking about how running away to Hawaii would feel good. Except I'd still have to get oil changes and buy stamps (a lot more of them, come to think of it) in Hawaii. I'd REALLY be on a budget. And I'd have heat rash pretty much all the time. So I know that this isn't a reasonable avenue of thinking, but I've only been home about two months and already I'm itching to go back. (So jealous, Wan!)

it isn't that I'm unhappy or even experiencing a drought of good weather here. It's just that I wouldn't mind a little more aloha.

Our minister told us the day we married that because we chose the beautiful island of Maui, that we are ohana with him, with Hawaii. Hawaii is officially one of our homes, a place with family, a place that will be filled with special memories for both of us, forever.







I miss you, Hawaii.

Fast Forward

it does feel like things have been on fast forward since I've gotten home from Hawaii. We've already been married a month! We put on the reception, we cleaned up, we opened presents, we are still trying to find places for them. . .
I'm wrapping up some freelance assignments. . .
And I never talk about work here, but I do have to mention that I am returning to an office tomorrow. A new job, in a related field but different capacity, and I am nervous. I am not great with new things.
So I have been quite overwhelmed over here with all the new-ness of my life. And it's left me staring at a blank screen several times over the last couple of weeks.
We should be returning to regularly scheduled programming shortly. Thanks for staying tuned. I miss all my internetty friends.
More wedding recaps to come, more writing later. Hi!

post wedding craziness

So sorry . . . long absence when there is so much to say. We have been swamped with getting our place in shape! With wedding money, presents, and more to put away, find places for, and a photo shoot (!) for our home--its going to appear in the magazine I used to work for full time--we are just super tired and ready for bed after a long weekend of moving, shifting, organizing... etc.

Tomorrow is supposed to be my catch-up day, so I'm hoping to have a post tomorrow with LOTS of photos (I have had a draft partially done for days) and some info. :)

Thanks for sticking with me. And thanks to Found Out About Me and Miz Stizzle for their kind words about my wedding reception!

Classy Bride

I don't have any photos of the ceremony yet; we just got back today at about 2 pm. (Yes, a day later than we planned, more on that later.)

More writing tomorrow, a big recap, but I'm honestly exhausted.

So, I leave you with a photo of the classiest bride ya ever saw:



What? I was hungry, and canned, radioactive colored cheese with chips was readily available as we waited for our catering after the ceremony!

I hope to get some ceremony photos tomorrow. . .plus other photos to come with all kinds of loverly details.

Sigh. Total bliss. It was perfect, honestly perfect, far better than I could have ever imagined for us.

Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning, we are leaving. We are embarking on one of our biggest adventures of our lives.

I ran errands almost all day today; I'm packing right now, or finishing. I got the people on the airline to agree to hang and store my dress for free, and still allow me another carry-on (it required two phone calls, the second put through to a much nicer operator). I thanked her profusely and told her she made my day. I'm hoping we might get a free upgrade tomorrow, but she said she couldn't say one way or the other, but that the airline does do that for people. Hope for me!

I finalized everything with the wedding planner. Flowers are being planned; guitarist is hired with songs to practice. Plans for the night before, getting ready, underway. Our first days in Hawaii are so close we can nearly smell the plumeria in the air. I had my ring cleaned today so it's nice and sparkly.

I have paperwork, directions, folders, wedding accoutrements of all kinds in my carryon. Nothing that goes to the wedding goes in the suitcase. I hope my carryon fits the dimensions...I will practice my "i'm getting married" pout and smile.

We are drinking red wine and watching tv and packing and this will be our last night in our little loft as a "dating" couple. Our last night of two last names in one residence.

It was a beautiful day in Minnesota today--sunny and warm and blooms exploding everywhere. Yet I'm not sad to leave a stretch of decent weather for Hawaii, for the wedding, it is happening, it is here, it is upon me, and I can hardly believe it.

Tears, happy ones, have tracked down my face several times today. I'm starting to feel the emotional and physical load of all this, facing marriage, the rest of my life with my honey.

I was completely overwhelmed and felt so loved by all the people who called me today and wished me congratulations and early happy marriage and safe travels, all the blog comments and emails and facebook messages on my wall. Who said they just had me in their thoughts. Happy messages that kept my stress level down, that made me feel so loved by everyone. Thank you.

Tonight William said to me, "When we get old and it is snowing and I hold your hand to help you cross the street, you'll feel warm when you think of this night, the night before we leave for Hawaii." Then he leaned over and kissed me, and all I could do was cry.

The next time you hear from me, I'll be a married woman. I can't promise photos or entries while I'm gone but I will try.

One Week

In one week, I will be wed to the love of my life.

I will be in Hawaii in two days.

I laid off coffee, and pop, even though I want my caffeine drip so badly I can taste it (and have the headaches to prove the withdrawal). But this non-sleep thing has to go. Last night I slept pretty well, and the night before. I will take your advice on the Simply Sleep though, ladies! Thanks!

Tonight we booked our inter-island flights, our rental cars, and generally got a little freaked about money. We pulled out our suitcases and started putting our stuff in them. Tomorrow I will finish packing, saving for the things that I am going to need the morning of. I have a few errands to run, too, tomorrow.

Then it's the Idol finale and resting up before our big flight.

Just saying that releases a storm of butterflies in my stomach. A storm. we're renting cars, booking lodging, we are packing, we are leaving, we are goinggoinggone to Hawaii on Thursday morning.

Just like that. Paradise for multiple reasons.

I am one week from being a Mrs. Two days from Hawaii. Completely broke but completely excited for the adventure ahead.

I can hardly keep my mind on anything else.

8 Days

Sunday morning, 7 a.m. My usual M.O. would be to sleep another three or so hours, maybe lounge around with coffee and the Sunday paper (read: the Target ad), and maybe shower around 1 or 2, with some light cleaning in between. No need to get ambitious on a Sunday, in my mind.

But let me tell you something: I was up at 7:54 this morning. I find this utterly obscene. Just illegal.

I am so tired. I don't know how to drive that point home. My eyes burn, my stomach hurts, my limbs feel like lead many times throughout the day. Then I lie down in bed, and. . . nothing. Eyes wide open. Sometimes I fall asleep right away and as I am sinking, sinking, sinking (ahhhh yes, sweet sleep), I think to myself "Tonight's the night. Full night's rest, dude." And then around, oh, 2 a.m., there I am, wide awake. And then again, maybe around 5 a.m. And then, up for good around 8.

I have tried all manner of things; wearing myself out physically, thinking about sleep, all my usual tricks that usually lull me to slumber every night have failed. Yesterday we went to Art-a-Whirl, typically one of my favorite things to do each year, and I was SO TIRED. I barely spoke the whole day (although I enjoyed it). My brain is simply too deprived to talk about art. (Example: I thought a painting of a tornado was a photograph of a closeup of a grapefruit. After that, no talky-talky.)

I don't know what is going on with me, but I just might go crazy if I don't get some shut-eye soon. For reals.

This morning, William is driving his parents to the airport. The AIRPORT. We are getting to this point now. People are going, they are leaving on the airplane to take their Hawaiian vacation. We leave in FOUR DAYS. In eight, we will be married.

I guess I am like that kid in the Disneyland commercial: I'm too excited to sleep!

That's about all I can figure.

Two Weeks

Two weeks from now, I will be in Hawaii, and four days from my wedding. We will officially, legally, be a "we," although we have been a "we" since about July 25, 2005. Our first date was July 8, and I can honestly say I was in love with William on our second date. I didn't tell him that until much later, but I was.

I remember what he wore. It was a hot, hot, fry-eggs-on-the-sidewalk July afternoon. He had on this baby blue t-shirt and khaki cargo shorts, and I can remember thinking, as my hair whipped around my face while driving down the freeway with him that he was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen in my whole life, and he had been in front of my face for years. It was our second "date," although we were just hanging out, and I think it was a Sunday afternoon.

We beat the heat by going to the mall for a while, but neither of us really wanted to shop. So we went into Barnes and Noble, and we sat on the floor and looked at art books together. As if that wasn't enough to capture my heart, we went home, and he wanted to play me a song on his iPod. We listened to it togther, one earphone for each of us, sitting so close I was sure he could hear my heart beating.

I get butterflies just thinking of that moment.

The chemicals in our brains don't really allow us to return to those fleeting first moments of dating, where, at the time, it feels like agony, but later, you sometimes wish you could recapture. but when I think about him, tan and handsome in his light blue shirt, twinkling hazel eyes (oh, his eyes) and offering me an earphone, I get all twitterpated and giggle.

I am more in love than I could have ever imagined a person can be. Maybe that's totally sickening. But it's completely true. william makes me laugh like....forty times a day. He treats me with respect and kindness. He goes shopping with me. We have funny conversations, we have serious conversations, and sometimes we just sit silent in front of the tv, or he paints and I write. We usually disagree what music to listen to, but we like the same kinds.

I have a true partner in William. In every sense of the word. I feel so lucky. So, so, so lucky. There is no doubt in my mind that he is the person I want to be with for the rest of my life, and that is fulfilling in a way that I cannot even describe. It's overfilling, more than fulfilling.

William came home from work yesterday and says to me: I was planning to go on this bike ride, but now it has to get moved. And when they changed the date, I just automatically said yes, since I wanted to go. Then I realized it was two weeks from now, a nd we'll be in Hawaii! We're at the point where people are making plans in advance, that are not so in advance, and we won't be here.

The excitement on his face showed. I started to laugh.

William says: We are leaving in TWO WEEKS.

I say: I know!

And we just sort of stare at each other, like . . . this is it!

This. Is. It.

I have dreams every night about all the things that can go wrong (and do), but oddly, I don't think about those during the day. it's been an overwhelming almost-two-months during this layoff. Tumultuous does not even begin to describe the peaks and valleys of the last 50 days. I feel like I'm at that point on a rollercoaster where you look down before the first drop and think, We are not going any higher than this. This is already way too high.

I know we have a few more chik-chik-chiks before we reach the top and I can look down with certainty that this is it, the top, are we ready? And then my stomach will be two stories above my body, where suddenly the chain lets go and I hear almost nothing at all except the sharp intake of breath I'm saving for the most exciting moment.

Interview

Just kidding. Last minute move to Monday.



At 10:30 Central time, I have an interview. For a job! That has great benefits! And I know the president of the company because I have been freelancing for her.

So let's all hope it goes well. I haven't slept well in days, and I'm under the gun to get a lot of writing done. I have to shake that all off and look glowing and bright when I walk in. And say funny, intelligent things. These are feats on a regular day!

More later, as it is two weeks to the date that I leave for Hawaii!!!

25 Days

This spring has been just terrible, weather-wise. I was so psyched that at the very least, I would be able to go out and enjoy warming weather, sunshiny skies, and long walks with Molly during my underemployment. Instead, it's been cold, dreary, rainy, sleety, and even sometimes snowy. Today it is so dark out it's practically like night, which makes it difficult to want to do anything, save for curling up on the couch with Mo and watching John Hughes movies.

I am totally losing focus on everything that requires my attention. I think I have caught a case of wedding-brain. I'm working every day and doing interviews and writing and networking and all those things, but it feels like a part of my brain is always wandering 10 percent off track, or, like today, when I'm waiting for callbacks, I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything beyond wait, when I could be efficiently typing away on another story. I have a lot to accomplish in the next week, two big stories, and I'm excited about them both, but I just caught myself daydreaming about packing my suitcase. I was worried that when we left for Hawaii the spring would have been beautiful and perfect and I would have been mad that I waited so long to leave, but that doesn't appear to be the case anymore.

My dress should be ready next week. RSVPs are coming in every day now. Everything's rented and ready to be delivered on June 13 for the reception. My wedding planner e-mailed me today, and we're rolling on final details. William is headed to a weekend away with just a very few of his friends for his bachelor party; mine is next Saturday.

I certainly don't want to wish this highly anticipatory time away, but in some ways, I wish it was just here. I know it goes fast and I'll regret even saying that. But now I've reached the kid-at-Christmas feeling, just wondering how everything is going to happen and what's inside the box marked "For Katie and William."

In 25 days, my name is changing. I will wear an ivory dress and hope that my photos turn out ok. In 25 days, I will be on the sunny isle of Maui, glad that we decided to go and do it the way we really wanted. IN 25 days, I will be flying out of Maui to Kauai, for my honeymoon.

What a strange concept. I hardly feel old enough to be getting married, having a honeymoon, bridal showers, or bachelorette parties. I'm 27, so that's plenty normal, but I can remember this same feeling enveloping me at my high school, then college, graduations.

I have nail polish picked out, hair appointments to keep. I think about what the ceremony will be like, if I will need coffee in the morning, if I will be nervous or excited or just overly happy.

Yesterday I received a package in the mail, intended as something for my bachelorette party, from the Kilipino, one of my very bestest friends in the whole wide world—a fitting phrase since she's now in her second year of service for the Peace Corps in Paraguay. The address label was my first name and my new last name. She's been doing this for a while, but it has always seemed like a joke until yesterday. I opened the package, a gorgeous dress from J Crew, and the card. I sat down on the couch and tears rolled down my face, with the dress in one hand and the card in the other. She won't be there on my big day, and I will miss her fiercely. The dress is gorgeous, of course something I'd want, and I ironed it and put it on, wearing it to my interview (for a story, not a job) that afternoon.

In 25 days, we will have been on Maui for four days. We will have been anxiously awaiting these moments for a year and a half. It will all be happening.

Sleepless in St. Paul

Please, Sleep, wherever you are, please come back to me.

Spending time on hold for unemployment screwups is not my idea of a good time; especially when my payments are getting delayed and I'm sleep deprived.

Working on tiny details and remembering every little thing for everything I have to do in the next two weeks: not easy when sleep deprived.

Bah.

Things That Made My Day

First:
From Cheryl, a person that I've known since high school, and we've reconnected online (sometimes the internet really can be a wonderful, wonderful place, can't it?):

Cheryl is funny, kind, a responsive reader (we all love comments, don't we?), honest, and creative. If you haven't checked her out before, you should.

Some bloggers that make my day?
I"m going to have to say Doahleigh, MarisKris, WeezerMonkey, Nanette, and Wan! All these ladies are just fun, funny, smart, gorgeous, and genuinely good people....and how many people do you know you can say that about? They lighten my mood, offer advice and support, are always up to good adventures, and I've come to call them friends over the blogging adventure. They are wonderful for many reasons. Recent example: It's not often you hear someone say something nice behind your back. Bbut the other day I clicked on Cheryl's comments, and Nanette had commented, and said she was jealous we knew each other! It made my day that someone would say that. Nanette, I'll come babysit!

But that's just one example among many, many, many.

Other thing that made my day: Dooce's post today. Consider this piece of stunning Prince genius. I could listen to him sing the phone book. Creep, as done by Prince. Just too good. Tooooooo good. Reminds me of the last time I saw him though I didn't get to hear this gem. It won't let embed this for some reason... that is not making my day.

Ok, back to work.

Full Time Freaking Out

Yesterday was 30 days until our ceremony date. We'll be in Hawaii in less than 25 days now.

I have more than enough work to keep me busy for many, many extra hours this week. I spent most of the weekend working.

My bank account is nearly empty; freelancing is great, but although you work, work, work, there's no check, check, check until publication or acceptance of the story. Once I get into a rhythm, I know I'll be ok, but I am broke right now.

Less than two months until our reception.

Oh, so much to do, so little time. I didn't sleep last night.

33 Days

Invitations have gone out. They are arriving in people's mailboxes, or already have. RSVP postcards will be coming back to us soon. We've got a contract for our tent/table/chair rentals for the reception. Two bridal showers down, a bachelorette to go. I'll pick up my tailored dress in a couple of weeks. My wedding sandals are somewhere in a UPS truck, on the way to my parents' front door. William's outfit is ready, his wedding band is sitting in a box on our dresser. I have begun thinking about what I'm packing. I leave for Maui in 29 days.

Everything is real, now. Invitations are arriving. That's the final-final for me—people are officially invited on fancy, letterpressed paper. Finalizing the fine details is now our realm, not pulling magazine pages or figuring out next steps.

I have enough work to keep me on deadline through May 12. I have an overabundance of work, which I hope continues.

I'm overwhelmed, in the best possible way, with change. I have never been much of a risk-taker or instigated a whole lot of change in my life. Mostly, things have happened to me along the way. Now, suddenly, I am on the brink of gigantic life changes, some of the largest I know of, career and marriage. I am surprised at the lack of freaking out, melting down. This tells me, partly, how static I've been, and also how much I must have been craving change, despite my inertia. This is the not the first time I've stepped off the edge and held my breath, made a freefall into something new, but it's definitely the biggest embrace of that tummy-drop feeling I've had, and certainly feels like the first. I almost feel like I could be on one of those makeover shows. . . combined with This Is Your Life. . . the thing is. When it's over, and I'm married. And I'm still writing and editing. It will feel like my every day, like I've never really changed at all. I'm still me and love the same things and strive for the same achievements. What a strange combination.

Today is rainy and dark and I'm stressed about getting a bunch of tasks completed. Two months ago, it would have been a recipe for a terrible, brooding mood. Two months ago I would not have had the tools I needed to lighten my psychic load.
Today is rainy and dark and I am stressed about getting work done. But my energy is different than it used to be. I'm giggling at my sweet, lovable, Muppetish dog, who's snoozing loudly next to me, her paws twitching, her chest heaving as though she is barking, she is sniffing and running in her mind, every once in a while the almost-imperceptible wag of her tail. Surely if she is able to access those good feelings in her mind, so can I. I have all these plans, all this future to think about.

It won't last forever, this high, and I know that. But I only have 30 more days to plan one of the biggest events in my life, this great happiness culminating in forever promises.

I'm riding that wave as long as I can.