Anything You Want, You Got It Part II

Here's me, trying to not be nervous before the wedding. I'm standing at the top of the stairs that led onto the beach, and my mom is pinning flowers in my hair. In my hand is my something blue, a handkerchief my grandma carried at her wedding, my mom carried at hers, and my sister carried at hers.


Our minister, blowing the conch shell to begin the wedding ceremony:


My honey, with his back to the chaos behind him, waiting to come down the stairs to the beach. We had requested not to see each other before the wedding.


I think this was the look on William's face when he saw me for the first time, but I can't be sure.


My daddy, walking me down the sandy aisle:


Our first moments with our gorgeous wedding party:


I don't know where we are in the ceremony here, but I like that we both appear to be giggling.


Serenaded by our guitarist, who sang us the Hawaiian Wedding Song (again, look at that wedding party):


Oooh! The ring!


Ooh! His ring!


we actually kissed four times in the ceremony. Here's a shot of one of them:


...And here's the final kiss, which sealed the total deal. Look how happy our minister looks!


Being announced as man and wife. This photo makes me giggle. One reason why: check out my best girl in green. I love how she's laughing at me.


We did it!


After the ceremony and portrait shots to come!

A Little More Aloha

I just have to mention my last post, which was a stupid post, was my 200th post! A little anniversary to enjoy.

I was just going through some old files on my computer and tossing things in the trash. We're doing housecleaning and I figured I could do a little computer cleaning, too. While doing said cleaning, I came across a document that was our guide to the place we stayed in Kauai.

It made my heart hurt.

I miss using the words lanai, aloha, mahalo. I miss sounding out the street names. I miss tree tunnels and mountains and white sandy beaches. And while I don't miss wedding planning--and am relieved to have it over—I do miss the anticipation of jetting off to my beloved Hawaii. Everyone likes to have a trip looming in the future, right?

Whenever I get stressed out, I usually come around to thinking about how running away to Hawaii would feel good. Except I'd still have to get oil changes and buy stamps (a lot more of them, come to think of it) in Hawaii. I'd REALLY be on a budget. And I'd have heat rash pretty much all the time. So I know that this isn't a reasonable avenue of thinking, but I've only been home about two months and already I'm itching to go back. (So jealous, Wan!)

it isn't that I'm unhappy or even experiencing a drought of good weather here. It's just that I wouldn't mind a little more aloha.

Our minister told us the day we married that because we chose the beautiful island of Maui, that we are ohana with him, with Hawaii. Hawaii is officially one of our homes, a place with family, a place that will be filled with special memories for both of us, forever.







I miss you, Hawaii.

Maui and Kauai

Sorry for holding out on y'all. I have heard your cries for more photos... and I have been stymied due to technical difficulties... I have virtually no photos of my own from the ceremony (I have shared the ones I have had access to). I tried burning cds and dvds from my mom; that has resulted in error messages. I'm frustrated, too.

Ok, but I figured, since I do a lot of things backwards in my life, I can do these backwards too. So here are some select photos from our trip to paradise.

We got married on this date:


My sister, Sooz, rules, and rented the awesomest house on the ocean in the Wailea/Makena area of Maui (southwestern side). This was the view out the bedroom window in the morning:


Here is one of our best men, one of our best girls, and me, right after the ceremony, just hangin' loose:


And here is my daddy and me, after the ceremony. We were waiting for our lunches to show up. This photo makes my heart bigger. Just look at the look on his face! Isn't he handsome?


(There will be better recapping than this in the future, I promise).

Before the ceremony, we drove to the town of Paia. It's really one of my favorite places in the whole world. I feel like I could live there, only I don't surf and it's a surfer town. But the shops! And the atmosphere! William spotted Don Nelson, the Golden State Warriors coach.I had no idea who he was or that the Golden State Warriors was even a pro team.:

While there, we stopped at this overlook where you can watch the surfers catch the waves. We took a ton of photos, but this was apparently William's favorite:


This was often the scene when we were yawning, full from seared ahi tuna, and full of sun:

It looked a lot like this the night of our ceremony, when we flew from Maui to Kauai, our honeymoon spot.

While in Kauai, we saw a lot of these (and yes we have a T-shirt we want to make):


Sometimes they were looking for a lift:


Mobile little fellows.

Our second day on the island, we took a helicopter ride. I was afraid I'd be anxious since I hate flying, but I found that I loved being in a helicopter. I felt safer in that than a big ol' airplane. William and I dug our headphones.


Once we got in the heli, we saw some amazing sights: the rainest point int he world (400 inches a year!), Mt. Wai 'ale 'ale, the Na Pali coast, waterfalls upon waterfalls upon waterfalls, mountains green with plant life, and a hideaway home for the people who own most of the land on Kauai. This was a typical view:


Seriously, it was enough to bring a tear to my eye. I know my jaw was hanging open the whole time. I have never done anything like that before, and never seen world with that view, besides in coffee table books. I was living a coffee table book!

Also the second day we were there, we spotted this tree. Later, we asked our groundskeeper what it was (we explained where we had seen it on the road). We were totally in love with the tree... and he said it's called The Wedding Tree! How appropriate! I wish I could have one of these at home.



And another one for good measure, because come on. That is a stunner of a tree. We just caught the final blooms...a couple days later, it was all leaves. Just one of a couple things that felt especially made for us.



Yes, that's me under the tree.

We drove up to the north shore, home of gorgeous beaches, multi-million-dollar abodes, expensive gas and food, and, also, a slice of pure heaven.

We checked out Hideaways beach, which you have to descend several flights of concrete stairs to get to. There we found this landscape:



The beach was soft, coarse sand, so it brushed off super easily (my fave!), and there were tons of false kamani trees (not fake, FYI, it's the name), which have tons of shade (this girl needs shade) and gnarly roots which are perfect for putting your beach bag against as a pillow.)There will be more photos to come of it.

We also saw the lighthouse, which is the furthest point north in Hawaiian islands.


We also did a hike, which I was NOT prepared for. It was hard, strenuous, slow going. I was seriously hurting. And crabby. The guidebook did not mention the difficulty of it, while it had three paragraphs on how difficult it ws to get to Hideaways beach (not hard at all). We didn't have enough water and it was hot. Anyway. All of the photos pretty much show me pissed, although there were a couple high points--ha, ha, HIGH points?--including a view of Bali Hai.


This was when I was feeling somewhat accomplished (little did I know how much was yet to come):

This was later:


And even later:


On the south side, where we were staying, we saw Spouting Horn, a beach/park with this neat little explosion/attraction:


And we got to spot a very endangered species, the monk seal. Talk about cute!


William took a lot of photos:


I mostly goofed around:


Then one night we checked out the sunset on the South side:


It was romantic, but William hates lip gloss:


I love this man:


More to come! Sooner hopefully rather than later. Try to get those ceremony photos tomorrow.

Happy Surgiversary

Two posts, one day! Will wonders never cease?

I haven't blogged about a very important anniversary that took place just three or so weeks ago.

Two years and three-ish weeks ago, I was still living at home. I came home from work to find to my dad on the phone, looking very concerned. I was on my way out of town, and sort of in a rush, but I had a feeling, that kind of thing that stops you in your tracks. I get this feeling occasionally, sometimes and it's wrong, but this time I was right.

My dad hung up the phone and told my mom and I that he had lung cancer. I almost can't describe what happened to me next. I felt like someone took my stomach and turned it inside out and brought it through my throat and squeezed the oxygen out of me. My knees felt weak. I came uncorked. Suddenly and instantly, the three of us (and more, once the news had spread) had a new wound, nerves exposed, something that would eventually scar with time, but never disappear—most literally, my dad's.

My dad quit smoking that day. He had to detoxify before they took half of his lung, two weeks from then.

I went to William's house, mostly because my mom told me to still go, and we left the next morning for our weekend trip. I cried. That's an understatement. I cry a lot. It's easy to make me cry. If I'm mad I cry. If I'm sad, I cry. I cry if I hear happy news or I get a nice gift. I cry at fictional movies, talking animals, Pedigree commercials, the national anthem, and even sometimes when reality TV people win awards. But this cry was so different. I could not stop. Completely unhinged. I barely knew his parents at that point (he was also living at home). I know I must have looked a hot mess. I acted, I hoped, like nothing was wrong. Clearly, something was wrong.

Then I went into his bedroom, and I sobbed. We had to run an errand to the bookstore. He told me I could stay there but I thought I'd stop if we went somewhere public. Nope. I cried through the bookstore looking completely insane. Then we went back to his house. I sobbed on his bed until I passed out. It took a long time. I managed to chap my face.

William was my rock during that time, he really was. I learned I could trust him with my emotions and that he loved me no matter the news. William allowed me to cry in his arms and then celebrated the victories that came our way as my dad underwent his surgery and recovery.

Eventually, I determined that I would not carry on this way. I couldn't. I had to keep going, despite the fact that I felt like I was wading through cement. I decided that I wouldn't mourn the situation—and more importantly, my dad. He was alive and had gotten the best possible news when you hear you have cancer. That it's contained, that it can be taken out, and that you may not even need radiation or chemo.

One thing that helped was the fortitude of my friends. Kilipino told me how my dad was a superhero, Superman, and that he would fight off the evil forces of cancer. She would carry on with it until I laughed, sending me emails midday at work, knowing full well I was sitting at my desk, eating my lunch, trying not to be morose. She brought my dad a gigantic mylar Superman balloon, which still resides in my parents' front closet, deflated but standing watch. My friend A. would send me emails—we could commiserate, as her mom had been diagnosed with a different kind—and I felt she really knew how it felt, which is really important when you are facing such a trial. There were also many other people who contributed thoughts, prayers, well wishes, and kindnesses during this time. To be honest, I was sometimes numb, lost in my head, and I hope I have acknowledged them all at some point.

I moved in with William in April, two years ago. Probably, actually, this week two years ago. So that's an anniversary in itself. But in 2006, spring turned to summer turned to fall. My dad managed to get away with no chemo or radiation, just a very painful and slow-healing surgery. He definitely has the strength of Superman. Truly.

Today, I was out for a walk with William and Mo—it was gorgeous here today and so we walked down by the mighty Mississip—and my mom called. It was loud where I was, so I let it go to voicemail, planning to call her back in about 15 minutes. She said, in her somewhat neutral voice, "I have some news, so could you call me back?" I knew that my dad had had a check-up scan a couple of weeks ago; he'd told me about it. I had been worrying, of course, as I always do, in this lopsided way of mine. I'd put it out of my mind. Then I'd start worrying about possibilities and when we'd hear results. Then I'd quickly shut off the worrying by saying to myself that he was FINE and only positive thoughts were allowed. No worrying. Only reinforcing.

I called my mom back, forgetting about the wind and traffic. He got his letter. There have been no changes in his scans. No cancer growths, no weird spots or darknesses or blurry areas. Unchanged. Unchanged as when he left the hospital two years ago, when cancer had been forcibly removed from his chest, open from chest to back, all the way around his shoulder blade, a scar like the trip around Cape Horn on a map. I was about two blocks from home as my mom told me this, and just like that first day when cancer became a household term for us, tears, uncontrolled, streaming down my face. William held out his hand, first thumbs-up, then thumbs down, with an inquiring look on his face, as my face and my words were not exactly matching.

I had celebrated silently a couple of weeks ago when my dad's surgiversary came up, when the doctor had told us he could be hunting and fishing still twenty years from now. But I had held my breath because I knew he had another check-up scan coming soon.

Thumbs up. My dad is healthy. Two years running. Hawaii, here we come.

fantasy football island

hi. it's monday. booo that. right? right.
my sister just told me about some condo where the pool is built into lava rock on the edge of a cliff; that it looks over the ocean. we're not going there, since my family is probably staying there, but we'll be finding something along those lines, i hope! so the looking for a place to stay begins. oh, hawaii, you are calling my name.
i'm really tired.
also, i think i have lost my fiance to fantasy football. but ever since reading that column bill simmons wrote about how to make women understand fantasy football, i've been understanding about it. really. give it a read if you haven't. it's good stuff.
thank god for bill simmons. i think he shed a LOT of light for a LOT of women. why aren't more women praising him like that venus, mars guy? he should be on oprah!

hawaii 5-0

ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygod.
i think we're putting the deposit down on the wedding tonight. TONIGHT PEOPLE. we will really have a real date like you're supposed to. we are moving forward! i am honestly that happy kind of nervous where i might need to run around in circles for a few minutes when i get home. you know what i mean. or dance around the living room to something good. maybe "like a prayer."
tonight i will probably have a real wedding date with a real place to get married that's a super exciting adventure place. and i have my dress. and most importantly, the boy who asked me to marry him! i am really marrying like the cutest boy in the universe. and he's smart and fun. and he loves me back!
sorry.
i'm just real excited.

so close

Well, I do really think we've picked our wedding planner/photographer in Hawaii. http://hawaiiwedding.net . we love their photos--and trust me, there are a lot of bad ones out there--and the package works nicely with the things that we want included. When I checked a couple of weeks ago, they still had May 27 open. It's not a date that means anything to us, but I wanted to get married in May (no particular reason other than I love a good spring) and over Memorial Day weekend gives people an extra vacation day they wouldn't have to burn otherwise. I 'm thinking people could come late the week before, sleep off the jet lag and really be in Hawaii spirit when the wedding rolls around, then they can do as they please the rest of the time. Oh, and getting married during the week ensures less people on the beach (all beaches are public in Hawaii), and is often cheaper.
After much struggling, we've decided this much:
1. We really did want to get married in Hawaii.
2. We really want people to feel included.
3. As such, people will be formally invited to the reception at home (which we will include lots of little things so that people who don't come to Hawaii feel included), and there will be sort of an open invite to come to the wedding, provided that people understand we can't afford a reception both places and won't be treated to dinner, etc. in Hawaii. People should not feel obligated or guilty if they cannot come, but they are welcome to take a vacation and make us one of the sight-seeing stops and we would be glad to see them. At some point, it'd be good to know who those people might be.
4. I have lots of little ideas for the party at home which we might need a few helping hands for.
5. One idea includes showing a "screening" of our wedding on a large screen in the backyard, sitdown style, so that people see the ceremony for themselves.
6. We have a color scheme quasi-worked out. Think tropical.
7. I think we have catering and invitation ideas pretty well decided, no extensive interviewing required, though if you have suggestions, definitely throw them this way.

After an exhausting weekend, I'm back at it. Yesterday I crashed for about four hours in the afternoon.... I just don't have it like I used to!!