25 Days

This spring has been just terrible, weather-wise. I was so psyched that at the very least, I would be able to go out and enjoy warming weather, sunshiny skies, and long walks with Molly during my underemployment. Instead, it's been cold, dreary, rainy, sleety, and even sometimes snowy. Today it is so dark out it's practically like night, which makes it difficult to want to do anything, save for curling up on the couch with Mo and watching John Hughes movies.

I am totally losing focus on everything that requires my attention. I think I have caught a case of wedding-brain. I'm working every day and doing interviews and writing and networking and all those things, but it feels like a part of my brain is always wandering 10 percent off track, or, like today, when I'm waiting for callbacks, I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything beyond wait, when I could be efficiently typing away on another story. I have a lot to accomplish in the next week, two big stories, and I'm excited about them both, but I just caught myself daydreaming about packing my suitcase. I was worried that when we left for Hawaii the spring would have been beautiful and perfect and I would have been mad that I waited so long to leave, but that doesn't appear to be the case anymore.

My dress should be ready next week. RSVPs are coming in every day now. Everything's rented and ready to be delivered on June 13 for the reception. My wedding planner e-mailed me today, and we're rolling on final details. William is headed to a weekend away with just a very few of his friends for his bachelor party; mine is next Saturday.

I certainly don't want to wish this highly anticipatory time away, but in some ways, I wish it was just here. I know it goes fast and I'll regret even saying that. But now I've reached the kid-at-Christmas feeling, just wondering how everything is going to happen and what's inside the box marked "For Katie and William."

In 25 days, my name is changing. I will wear an ivory dress and hope that my photos turn out ok. In 25 days, I will be on the sunny isle of Maui, glad that we decided to go and do it the way we really wanted. IN 25 days, I will be flying out of Maui to Kauai, for my honeymoon.

What a strange concept. I hardly feel old enough to be getting married, having a honeymoon, bridal showers, or bachelorette parties. I'm 27, so that's plenty normal, but I can remember this same feeling enveloping me at my high school, then college, graduations.

I have nail polish picked out, hair appointments to keep. I think about what the ceremony will be like, if I will need coffee in the morning, if I will be nervous or excited or just overly happy.

Yesterday I received a package in the mail, intended as something for my bachelorette party, from the Kilipino, one of my very bestest friends in the whole wide world—a fitting phrase since she's now in her second year of service for the Peace Corps in Paraguay. The address label was my first name and my new last name. She's been doing this for a while, but it has always seemed like a joke until yesterday. I opened the package, a gorgeous dress from J Crew, and the card. I sat down on the couch and tears rolled down my face, with the dress in one hand and the card in the other. She won't be there on my big day, and I will miss her fiercely. The dress is gorgeous, of course something I'd want, and I ironed it and put it on, wearing it to my interview (for a story, not a job) that afternoon.

In 25 days, we will have been on Maui for four days. We will have been anxiously awaiting these moments for a year and a half. It will all be happening.