So my Smalls had a rough day today so I thought I would try and make a modified version of her favorite Thai meal, papaya salad. We did not have the right ingredients so some pretty big modifications had to take place.
What we had:
Fresh Ginger
Oranges (fresh orange juice and zest)
Garlic
Boneless Ribs
Honey
Chili Sauce
Soy Sauce
Olive Oil
Honey Mustard
Spinach
Peas
Red Pepper
Carrots
Goat Cheese
I have no real understanding or methodology towards cooking. (Besides my love of watching Alton Brown.) I just see ingredients and add a little of that, a pinch of this, why not a splash of that, and hope that everything comes together in the end.
Looking at what we had I knew I didn't have the time to cook ribs as I would normally want to, so I cut them into very fine slices and set them aside in a little olive oil, salt and pepper until they came to room temperature. I then cooked them over high heat to get a good sear on each side.
I then squeezed two oranges and took the zest from half of one orange. To that I added the honey, honey mustard, minced garlic and ginger, soy sauce, and chili sauce. I added this mixture to the pan and brought it to a simmer with the seared beef. While the glaze was thickening I julienned the red pepper and carrots and placed them over a bed of spinach, along with the fresh peas. Once the orange juice and ginger mixture reduced to a sticky glaze I poured it over the lettuce.
Katie took this dish to the next level with the idea of adding crumbled goat cheese on top. The rich texture of the cheese rounded out the orange/ginger glaze.
The meal turned out fabulous and it put a smile on my Smalls' face--it was a nice end to the day to have a tasty dinner together. We both felt this was my best dinner creation ever. Not bad from pulling a bunch of random ingredients together in a half-hour.
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
U Can't Touch This
Today has been a very surreal day.
It started out with my honey emailing me to tell me three of his photos have been chosen for a biannual art magazine—including the COVER.
Sweet. Good day. Good success. Happy happy joy joy!!! That's huge. William's been working hard on his Etsy shop and to get a break like that is pretty amazing. Not to mention the happiness I feel for my husband when someone notices his talents. We like to dream that someday we'd own our own random firm of photography, writing, architecture, and crafty stuff. In a cool old brick building, living above/working below, with a rooftop deck. Ahhh . . . can you picture it?
I was busy today, so I hadn't processed my thoughts about the situation much past that. It was about to get much, much funnier, cooler, and stranger.
A couple of hours later, I get another email from William, and this time it says that someone on Etsy contacted him to let him know that—stop, Hammertime!—MC HAMMER tweeted about an item William had posted to his Etsy store this weekend:
So what did Hammer rap about it?
"I like it!!! I'm biased? OK, OK..." with a LINK to the item!
FAQ:
1. Yes, it appears to be the REAL Hammer. It links to his websites, and the tweets don't appear to be about anything that would be "off-brand" like some fake-celeb-Twitter accounts are.
2. He also has about 112,000 followers. I don't think FakeSarahPalin had that many.
3. It has been the latest twitter for 11 hours. William's gotten a very large amount of hits to his store today . . .
4. Yes, we have been singing 2 Legit 2 Quit all day.
So, now not only has William added cover credits to his rez in like an SIXTEENTH the time I got mine, he's also got a better celeb following than I probably do. Though supposedly Fran Drescher and Ryan Adams are following me, they haven't TWEETED about me.
SRSLY. What a day!
It started out with my honey emailing me to tell me three of his photos have been chosen for a biannual art magazine—including the COVER.
Sweet. Good day. Good success. Happy happy joy joy!!! That's huge. William's been working hard on his Etsy shop and to get a break like that is pretty amazing. Not to mention the happiness I feel for my husband when someone notices his talents. We like to dream that someday we'd own our own random firm of photography, writing, architecture, and crafty stuff. In a cool old brick building, living above/working below, with a rooftop deck. Ahhh . . . can you picture it?
I was busy today, so I hadn't processed my thoughts about the situation much past that. It was about to get much, much funnier, cooler, and stranger.
A couple of hours later, I get another email from William, and this time it says that someone on Etsy contacted him to let him know that—stop, Hammertime!—MC HAMMER tweeted about an item William had posted to his Etsy store this weekend:
So what did Hammer rap about it?"I like it!!! I'm biased? OK, OK..." with a LINK to the item!
FAQ:
1. Yes, it appears to be the REAL Hammer. It links to his websites, and the tweets don't appear to be about anything that would be "off-brand" like some fake-celeb-Twitter accounts are.
2. He also has about 112,000 followers. I don't think FakeSarahPalin had that many.
3. It has been the latest twitter for 11 hours. William's gotten a very large amount of hits to his store today . . .
4. Yes, we have been singing 2 Legit 2 Quit all day.
So, now not only has William added cover credits to his rez in like an SIXTEENTH the time I got mine, he's also got a better celeb following than I probably do. Though supposedly Fran Drescher and Ryan Adams are following me, they haven't TWEETED about me.SRSLY. What a day!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Overslept into a parallel universe
This morning, our pattern was all out of whack.
William got up early, extra early, to go to work. His alarm went off instead of mine. When he got in the shower, I thought, Oh hell, why do I have this stupid alarm on? I'll be up the second he gets out of the shower....and that was the last thought I had. He came out and got dressed and ready for the day, and left. And I was OUT COLD. People, I sleep hard. It actually kind of freaks me out. I mean, our DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED. Nada. I bet I didn't even move.
Next thing I know, Molly is clawing my hand and snorting, making a fuss, because she wants up on the bed for a snuggle (wood floors+furry paws=she wants a lift). Thank GOD! Because otherwise, I don't know how long I would have slept. Out of the bed I fly, to find a note on the mirror. "Don't forget to move your car by 8. Loves."
Shit! Yes, move the car, move the car. Fly outside in my PJs, whip the car into a different parking spot.
Normally, William and I get together every morning, talking about news on the Today show, pouring OJ, trading spaces at the sink to brush our teeth. I'm used to our routine. This morning, it was like a parallel universe, and I had come totally undone.
With that.
What are your middle names? Ann and George
How long have you been together? nearly four years
How long did you know each other before you started dating? depends on how you look at it. We have known who each other was for....about 15 years. (Whoa, we're getting old.) But we never spoke a WORD to each other until about four years ago. Yep.
Who asked who out? William asked me. Well, rather, he told me. He said "And when you get back from your parents' cabin, we'll go out to dinner." I think it's safe to say I was completely flabbergasted.
How old were each of you when you met? 24ish
How old are each of you now? We're both 28
How tall are each of you? I'm 5'6"ish and he's 6'2"ish
Do you have any children together? Nope. But we fight over names of children fairly often, for a couple who has no plans for children in the near future.
What about pets? Momo the wonderpoo
Did you go to the same school? Yep, both high school (where our lockers were FIVE lockers apart) and college.
Are you from the same hometown? Just a few blocks apart.
Who is the most sensitive? I think we're both sensitive people. I'm probably more sensitive though.
Where do you eat out most as a couple? We're more the take-in type. Taste of Thailand. Mmmm.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Hawaii. Did you know it's like the place on Earth that is the farthest from any other inhabitable place on Earth? Whoa.
Who has the worst temper? William. I'm no angel, either.
Who does/did the cooking? We split. William's a better imaginative cook. I need a recipe.
Who is more social? Me
Who is the neat-freak? William
Who hogs the bed? That is a huge point of contention. Best not to bring it up.
Who wakes up earlier? We get up pretty much at the same time.
Who has the bigger family? William!
Do you have little pet names for each other? William calls me Smalls a lot. I call him honey or darling, usually.
How long did it take to get serious? Not long. A couple months? We moved in together after six months, so it moved fast. I knew on the first date that I was in love.
Who eats more? I can definitely hold my own, but when push comes to shove, Wm eats more. I can eat more cheese!
Who sings better? Probably me but I don't have any kind of voice to boast about.
Who’s older? William, by 20 days.
Who does the dishes? we take turns
Who snores? I do sometimes. I caught Wm snoring once or twice.
Who’s better with the computer? William
Who drives when you are together? We switch off. Depends on where we're going.
Who is the first to admit when they're wrong? I usually want to make the peace, but neither of us likes admitting we're wrong. I think, actually, Wm is probably better at that.
Who has more tattoos? We have imaginary tattoos.
Who eats more sweets? We both have our weaknesses.
I promise that I will do some honest-to-God writing soon. If I don't, I might go crazy.
William got up early, extra early, to go to work. His alarm went off instead of mine. When he got in the shower, I thought, Oh hell, why do I have this stupid alarm on? I'll be up the second he gets out of the shower....and that was the last thought I had. He came out and got dressed and ready for the day, and left. And I was OUT COLD. People, I sleep hard. It actually kind of freaks me out. I mean, our DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED. Nada. I bet I didn't even move.
Next thing I know, Molly is clawing my hand and snorting, making a fuss, because she wants up on the bed for a snuggle (wood floors+furry paws=she wants a lift). Thank GOD! Because otherwise, I don't know how long I would have slept. Out of the bed I fly, to find a note on the mirror. "Don't forget to move your car by 8. Loves."
Shit! Yes, move the car, move the car. Fly outside in my PJs, whip the car into a different parking spot.
Normally, William and I get together every morning, talking about news on the Today show, pouring OJ, trading spaces at the sink to brush our teeth. I'm used to our routine. This morning, it was like a parallel universe, and I had come totally undone.
With that.
What are your middle names? Ann and George
How long have you been together? nearly four years
How long did you know each other before you started dating? depends on how you look at it. We have known who each other was for....about 15 years. (Whoa, we're getting old.) But we never spoke a WORD to each other until about four years ago. Yep.
Who asked who out? William asked me. Well, rather, he told me. He said "And when you get back from your parents' cabin, we'll go out to dinner." I think it's safe to say I was completely flabbergasted.
How old were each of you when you met? 24ish
How old are each of you now? We're both 28
How tall are each of you? I'm 5'6"ish and he's 6'2"ish
Do you have any children together? Nope. But we fight over names of children fairly often, for a couple who has no plans for children in the near future.
What about pets? Momo the wonderpoo
Did you go to the same school? Yep, both high school (where our lockers were FIVE lockers apart) and college.
Are you from the same hometown? Just a few blocks apart.
Who is the most sensitive? I think we're both sensitive people. I'm probably more sensitive though.
Where do you eat out most as a couple? We're more the take-in type. Taste of Thailand. Mmmm.
Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Hawaii. Did you know it's like the place on Earth that is the farthest from any other inhabitable place on Earth? Whoa.
Who has the worst temper? William. I'm no angel, either.
Who does/did the cooking? We split. William's a better imaginative cook. I need a recipe.
Who is more social? Me
Who is the neat-freak? William
Who hogs the bed? That is a huge point of contention. Best not to bring it up.
Who wakes up earlier? We get up pretty much at the same time.
Who has the bigger family? William!
Do you have little pet names for each other? William calls me Smalls a lot. I call him honey or darling, usually.
How long did it take to get serious? Not long. A couple months? We moved in together after six months, so it moved fast. I knew on the first date that I was in love.
Who eats more? I can definitely hold my own, but when push comes to shove, Wm eats more. I can eat more cheese!
Who sings better? Probably me but I don't have any kind of voice to boast about.
Who’s older? William, by 20 days.
Who does the dishes? we take turns
Who snores? I do sometimes. I caught Wm snoring once or twice.
Who’s better with the computer? William
Who drives when you are together? We switch off. Depends on where we're going.
Who is the first to admit when they're wrong? I usually want to make the peace, but neither of us likes admitting we're wrong. I think, actually, Wm is probably better at that.
Who has more tattoos? We have imaginary tattoos.
Who eats more sweets? We both have our weaknesses.
I promise that I will do some honest-to-God writing soon. If I don't, I might go crazy.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Five Months Ago....
I did not have as much love in my heart as I do today, something that I would have thought impossible.
My honey. My love. His face as he turned around and saw me walking down the aisle.
A most handsome man, the first man in my life, who taught me that men should respect me and above all, I must respect myself. My dad did not give me away this day. My dad showed me the way. He will always be my dad, and I will always be his girl.
These rings are blessed by our Hawaiian Ohana, a circle, which never ends. We promise.
I feel like our minister's face says what we are feeling as we kiss.
I felt a mix of adrenaline, anxiety, happiness in the morning, but after we sealed the deal, an enormous sense of relief. Saying those words, even in front of close friends and family, was hard. I was emotional and cried through nearly the whole thing.
We're "going Hollywood" here, to quote the minister. The videographer made his rounds with the photographer and caught this moment, where I can just feel our joy leaping out of the photo. I was so happy that he married us.
This face expresses how I felt inside, too.
Everyone. Thanks again so much for coming. It meant so much to us to have you all there.
Our moms and dads. Who, literally, made all this possible. Thanks for raising us right. Thanks for supporting us. Thanks for letting us be who we are. Thanks for loving us. And thanks for letting us join each other's families so well. We are so grateful.
Check out my grandma!
My best girls. Who have taught me a thing or two about friendship, love, patience, kindness, generosity, and how to have a damn good laugh.
My handsome devil.
Rapture.
I still can't get over my flowers. They were SO BEAUTIFUL. I love how vivid our wedding was.
A whole new horizon, together.
Aw, yeah! Sassy!
My honey.
A photo with a hidden treat. If you look closely, you can see our reflection.
I can't believe it's been five months. I swear life has been on fast forward. And on this chilly fall day, I'm totally feeling sunny just looking at these photos. It's like it was one hot, sunny, gorgeous dream. Only I get to keep living in it.
My honey. My love. His face as he turned around and saw me walking down the aisle.
A most handsome man, the first man in my life, who taught me that men should respect me and above all, I must respect myself. My dad did not give me away this day. My dad showed me the way. He will always be my dad, and I will always be his girl.
These rings are blessed by our Hawaiian Ohana, a circle, which never ends. We promise.
I feel like our minister's face says what we are feeling as we kiss.
I felt a mix of adrenaline, anxiety, happiness in the morning, but after we sealed the deal, an enormous sense of relief. Saying those words, even in front of close friends and family, was hard. I was emotional and cried through nearly the whole thing.
We're "going Hollywood" here, to quote the minister. The videographer made his rounds with the photographer and caught this moment, where I can just feel our joy leaping out of the photo. I was so happy that he married us.
This face expresses how I felt inside, too.
Everyone. Thanks again so much for coming. It meant so much to us to have you all there.
Our moms and dads. Who, literally, made all this possible. Thanks for raising us right. Thanks for supporting us. Thanks for letting us be who we are. Thanks for loving us. And thanks for letting us join each other's families so well. We are so grateful.
Check out my grandma!
My best girls. Who have taught me a thing or two about friendship, love, patience, kindness, generosity, and how to have a damn good laugh.
My handsome devil.
Rapture.
I still can't get over my flowers. They were SO BEAUTIFUL. I love how vivid our wedding was.
A whole new horizon, together.
Aw, yeah! Sassy!
My honey.
A photo with a hidden treat. If you look closely, you can see our reflection.
I can't believe it's been five months. I swear life has been on fast forward. And on this chilly fall day, I'm totally feeling sunny just looking at these photos. It's like it was one hot, sunny, gorgeous dream. Only I get to keep living in it.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Even in Our Sleep
Last night, I had a terrible nightmare, full of things that were dear to me and were being demolished, killed, and ruined.
I woke up, sucking in breath violently, lifting my head off the pillow, convinced my nice life was forever gone, that I was in the same terrible place I'd dreamed. (Mostly because I can't fathom how my mind considers these things at night.)
The green glow from the alarm clock caught my eye. 4:05 a.m. My heart still racing, despite this reminder of all things normal. I hear Molly snoring on the floor beside the bed. Normal normal. I lay back on the pillow. Calm down, calm down, I keep thinking. It wasn't real.
William rolls toward me, slides his arm around me. I don't think he's awake. He just senses it. My heart's still racing. But in this silent conversation, I agree with him. It's all normal. Just go back to sleep.
I woke up, sucking in breath violently, lifting my head off the pillow, convinced my nice life was forever gone, that I was in the same terrible place I'd dreamed. (Mostly because I can't fathom how my mind considers these things at night.)
The green glow from the alarm clock caught my eye. 4:05 a.m. My heart still racing, despite this reminder of all things normal. I hear Molly snoring on the floor beside the bed. Normal normal. I lay back on the pillow. Calm down, calm down, I keep thinking. It wasn't real.
William rolls toward me, slides his arm around me. I don't think he's awake. He just senses it. My heart's still racing. But in this silent conversation, I agree with him. It's all normal. Just go back to sleep.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Thanks, Farmers
Tonight we ate like Minnesota-farm-spoiled gluttons.
On the dinner table: caprese salad, sweet corn, BLTs with cheese and avocado. I'm sure there's a lot of fat hanging out there, but man, I am just in heaven when I eat all that.
Nearly every weekend in the summer, we head to the St. Paul Farmer's Market and load up on whatever the farmers have grown for us that week. If we had this weather year-round, people would be dying for our produce.
To me, you can ship all the Driscoll's raspberries you want to Minnesota, but by the time they get here, they taste no better than the plastic they're shipped in. When I was a kid, my mom had rows of raspberry bushes outside, and we would head out there with giant mixing bowls. Every night we endured the awful mosquitoes (they love hanging around the plants) to pluck all those juicy, raspberries from overgrown bushes. (Sometimes I'd just watch from the swingset while my mom did all the hard work.) We'd have mixing bowls heaping over, and my mom would make jam and we would eat raspberries with cream every night after dinner. Juicy, giant, sweet and tart all at once. A huge taste in a small package. The way they're meant to taste.
Same with tomatoes. A beefsteak tomato in August with a cob of sweet corn, dripping with butter. Can't beat it.
When I was little, I never understood how my parents could gorge on that stuff every week. Now, I do the exact same thing. William and I pushed away from the table tonight, totally stuffed--but not uncomfortably so--ending our meals with the perfect bite of salty/sweet/juicy. Mmmm.
Sometimes the small things in life can be so good. Thanks, farmers, for all your work.
On the dinner table: caprese salad, sweet corn, BLTs with cheese and avocado. I'm sure there's a lot of fat hanging out there, but man, I am just in heaven when I eat all that.
Nearly every weekend in the summer, we head to the St. Paul Farmer's Market and load up on whatever the farmers have grown for us that week. If we had this weather year-round, people would be dying for our produce.
To me, you can ship all the Driscoll's raspberries you want to Minnesota, but by the time they get here, they taste no better than the plastic they're shipped in. When I was a kid, my mom had rows of raspberry bushes outside, and we would head out there with giant mixing bowls. Every night we endured the awful mosquitoes (they love hanging around the plants) to pluck all those juicy, raspberries from overgrown bushes. (Sometimes I'd just watch from the swingset while my mom did all the hard work.) We'd have mixing bowls heaping over, and my mom would make jam and we would eat raspberries with cream every night after dinner. Juicy, giant, sweet and tart all at once. A huge taste in a small package. The way they're meant to taste.
Same with tomatoes. A beefsteak tomato in August with a cob of sweet corn, dripping with butter. Can't beat it.
When I was little, I never understood how my parents could gorge on that stuff every week. Now, I do the exact same thing. William and I pushed away from the table tonight, totally stuffed--but not uncomfortably so--ending our meals with the perfect bite of salty/sweet/juicy. Mmmm.
Sometimes the small things in life can be so good. Thanks, farmers, for all your work.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
making sense
Just wanted to check in. Got some amazing deals yesterday at the mall. Will post pictures soon. Check this though: dark green trench coat with full skirt, black mod coat (both cheap, or on sale), beret, belt. Happy birthday to me!
Also awesome dinner was had: seared tuna, salmon, baked goat cheese, asparagus with balsamic vinaigrette, decadent chocolate cake. Sophia in a can for me. Summit Pale Ale for William. We had really great conversation. It felt like a date from a long time ago, that kind of energy, coupled with our history as a couple—
That's an interesting thought. We're really getting to a place where we have history. We have been together more than two years now. It'll be nearly three when we get married.
In the grand scheme, I know that's nothing. But despite the troubles we've both encountered in our short years together, we have gelled, more and more each day.
I never dreamed I'd move in with a boy six months after I met him.
Everything has moved so fluidly, so quickly, but also on this track that seems almost predetermined.
In any case, it was really just stars-are-aligned kind of day. We had fun, we talked about lots of interesting things, we flirted, it made me even more convinced that regardless of what other questions I might have about my life, William and I make sense. No question there.
Also awesome dinner was had: seared tuna, salmon, baked goat cheese, asparagus with balsamic vinaigrette, decadent chocolate cake. Sophia in a can for me. Summit Pale Ale for William. We had really great conversation. It felt like a date from a long time ago, that kind of energy, coupled with our history as a couple—
That's an interesting thought. We're really getting to a place where we have history. We have been together more than two years now. It'll be nearly three when we get married.
In the grand scheme, I know that's nothing. But despite the troubles we've both encountered in our short years together, we have gelled, more and more each day.
I never dreamed I'd move in with a boy six months after I met him.
Everything has moved so fluidly, so quickly, but also on this track that seems almost predetermined.
In any case, it was really just stars-are-aligned kind of day. We had fun, we talked about lots of interesting things, we flirted, it made me even more convinced that regardless of what other questions I might have about my life, William and I make sense. No question there.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
molly mail
well, today marks a new, crazy day: molly got mail. seriously. from petsmart. that super makes me giggle. it was the only thing in our mailbox, which made me laugh even harder.
since my parents are out of town, my grandma is taking molly during the day. my grandma had a full run-down of their day's events together--two big walks, followed by snacks, and she had picked me a bagful of tomatoes out of her garden. sweet! my grandma is pretty awesome, if you don't already know her. thanks, gram.
it was gorgeous out today, finally, and wow did that ever help my mood out. the one concerning thing: it's only 8:30 and it's dark out. like streetlamps are on. nooooo! nooooooo! i am officially protesting the end of summer. like, totally protesting. it's not going to happen, people.
pretty quiet day in the neighborhood, today. that's not always a bad thing, either.
tonight i took molly out for her regularly scheduled short walk, and i looked up into our place. i could see our magenta wall, covered in framed photos done mostly by william, i could see the brick wall, i could see our super kickass light hanging over our island. it looked warm and cozy and hip and home-y. i stood out there, with that perfect 70-degree breeze blowing, and smiled. it was nice that i was looking at my own home, and i was happy.
since my parents are out of town, my grandma is taking molly during the day. my grandma had a full run-down of their day's events together--two big walks, followed by snacks, and she had picked me a bagful of tomatoes out of her garden. sweet! my grandma is pretty awesome, if you don't already know her. thanks, gram.
it was gorgeous out today, finally, and wow did that ever help my mood out. the one concerning thing: it's only 8:30 and it's dark out. like streetlamps are on. nooooo! nooooooo! i am officially protesting the end of summer. like, totally protesting. it's not going to happen, people.
pretty quiet day in the neighborhood, today. that's not always a bad thing, either.
tonight i took molly out for her regularly scheduled short walk, and i looked up into our place. i could see our magenta wall, covered in framed photos done mostly by william, i could see the brick wall, i could see our super kickass light hanging over our island. it looked warm and cozy and hip and home-y. i stood out there, with that perfect 70-degree breeze blowing, and smiled. it was nice that i was looking at my own home, and i was happy.
Friday, March 2, 2007
"just knowing"
I was reading my usual daily fix of blogs the other day when I stumbled upon this beauty of an entry: http://www.sundrymourning.com/2007/02/22/the-gamble-and-the-guess/
I read her every day. She's amazing. But beyond that, it really made me think about my recently engaged self. How did I know?
When William and I "met," we had already been acquainted with each other since high school...our lockers were five lockers apart. We never spoke a word to each other. He remembers me being loud and "gossipy"--meaning, talky--and I remember him as silent and standoffish.
Fast forward about six years. Here we are. Getting married. To someone who I would consider "out of my league"--but damned if I'm not going to hang on and pretend I'm in this league, too. I was just the other day thinking about how we've lived together almost a year--this is the month he bought the loft we now live in--and how it's flown. We're engaged. We got a dog. We painted the living room wall twice. We just are finishing the bathroom. We grocery shop together. We discuss decorating and daily schedules and dreams with equal time.
On his birthday, I wrote him a short story about how I fell in love. And that's something you can just feel, you just know. You don't know if it's going to last, if you're going to discover some awful thing that breaks the deal, you don't know if yuo will be one of those darling old couples in line at the pharmacy that still holds hands fifty years down the road.
I'm not a religious person, but I liken this to blind faith. The unshakeable belief that it might not always be a fairy tale, but that you know you will try to make it work with all your might, because this is the best person for you that you can imagine. That this is what is meant to be.
Our second "date" wasn't much of a date, but it is where I fell head over heels, in a way that I have never ever felt in my life, even when I was in wonderful relationships with wonderful people. it was so hot outside that air conditioning was barely working. I don't remember what I was wearing, but I remember what he was wearing: cargo shorts and this light-blue T-shirt that I will forever think of as my favorite. We went to the MOA for some massive air conditioning, and we got lost in Barnes and Noble, poring over photography books and talking about art. We headed back to my house, and I was trying to convince him to go swimming at Fort Snelling. We got back to get my swimsuit, and while I was packing up my stuff, he sat on my bed with his iPod. Then he told me he had some music he wanted me to hear, so we shared his headphones and lay back on the bed, listening to some dreamy hip-hop mashup stuff that I completely fell in love with. I can remember the sun, I can remember the bed, I can remember the song--the one that still makes my heart race when I hear it--I remember being thisclose to him while we listened since we both had an earphone and we held hands. Its was the most indie rock silly little moment where I was so unspeakably happy. It was like he knew exactly what would make me fall in love--and it worked.
I finished the story to him--talking about how I felt like swimming still when he left, how I felt like I was standing on the edge of a diving board as he walked out the door...and I held my breath, and I jumped. And I'm still falling.
That was over a year and a half ago, and I still feel that way, that there are still things I'm discovering about him, he still does things that make me fall deeper and deeper in.
I can't say that I know where we will end up forever. I can't say that I know our future will be perfect with each other. But I know that this is the best gamble I can make. That is the one with the best odds--I feel like it's a sure bet.
In some ways, I was relieved to hear that other people just guess--that they never have an aha! moment where an answer to a huge life question comes clear. I don't think those exist for every decision I will have to make. I think as children we think that as we become adults, we have all the answers, to only find out that the questions get bigger, the risks bigger. And we only have some past experiences to rely upon, or secondhand stories, to help us decide what's best.
But over this past year, which has definitely been a roller-coaster for me, one thing that has been rock solid has been William and I.
And when he asked me to marry him, and I just kept saying "When did you have time to do this?" on some level, I was stalling the moment, there on Ka'anapali Beach, in the dark, with the breeze blowing, in paradise. But when I really, really think about that moment, I can still recreate it in my mind. I still sometimes get distracted by my ring, hardly believing that this moment has happened to me.
And that's what tells me that this is the best, the closest I'm ever goign to get to experience the you just know feeling. No divine interventionist will come and tell me, "Katie, this is the right decision."
Everyone who knows me well knows I like to poll people on things: what to buy, what color to put in my hair, what's going on in pop culture. But this was one time, more than buying a pair of skinny jeans, more than going red, that I understood this was the right thing to do. And, ironically, after telling everyone about it, they have all enthusiastically agreed. I didn't need it beforehand.
I'm not all-knowing, I'm not perfect, and I've definitely made bad decisions that I thought I was initially right about. But when I think about all the times that we have weathered, even in a short less-than-two-years---cancer, joblessness, moving in together, sickness--we've been there for each other. And every day feels just as important and exciting and supportive as the last.
I'm still falling. I hope--and I feel that I'm probably right--that we'll be holding hands in the pharmacy line when we're 70. I just love him that much. And if I love him that much now, it can only get bigger as time goes on. That's the great side of the affairs of the heart: with love, your heart knows no capacity.
I read her every day. She's amazing. But beyond that, it really made me think about my recently engaged self. How did I know?
When William and I "met," we had already been acquainted with each other since high school...our lockers were five lockers apart. We never spoke a word to each other. He remembers me being loud and "gossipy"--meaning, talky--and I remember him as silent and standoffish.
Fast forward about six years. Here we are. Getting married. To someone who I would consider "out of my league"--but damned if I'm not going to hang on and pretend I'm in this league, too. I was just the other day thinking about how we've lived together almost a year--this is the month he bought the loft we now live in--and how it's flown. We're engaged. We got a dog. We painted the living room wall twice. We just are finishing the bathroom. We grocery shop together. We discuss decorating and daily schedules and dreams with equal time.
On his birthday, I wrote him a short story about how I fell in love. And that's something you can just feel, you just know. You don't know if it's going to last, if you're going to discover some awful thing that breaks the deal, you don't know if yuo will be one of those darling old couples in line at the pharmacy that still holds hands fifty years down the road.
I'm not a religious person, but I liken this to blind faith. The unshakeable belief that it might not always be a fairy tale, but that you know you will try to make it work with all your might, because this is the best person for you that you can imagine. That this is what is meant to be.
Our second "date" wasn't much of a date, but it is where I fell head over heels, in a way that I have never ever felt in my life, even when I was in wonderful relationships with wonderful people. it was so hot outside that air conditioning was barely working. I don't remember what I was wearing, but I remember what he was wearing: cargo shorts and this light-blue T-shirt that I will forever think of as my favorite. We went to the MOA for some massive air conditioning, and we got lost in Barnes and Noble, poring over photography books and talking about art. We headed back to my house, and I was trying to convince him to go swimming at Fort Snelling. We got back to get my swimsuit, and while I was packing up my stuff, he sat on my bed with his iPod. Then he told me he had some music he wanted me to hear, so we shared his headphones and lay back on the bed, listening to some dreamy hip-hop mashup stuff that I completely fell in love with. I can remember the sun, I can remember the bed, I can remember the song--the one that still makes my heart race when I hear it--I remember being thisclose to him while we listened since we both had an earphone and we held hands. Its was the most indie rock silly little moment where I was so unspeakably happy. It was like he knew exactly what would make me fall in love--and it worked.
I finished the story to him--talking about how I felt like swimming still when he left, how I felt like I was standing on the edge of a diving board as he walked out the door...and I held my breath, and I jumped. And I'm still falling.
That was over a year and a half ago, and I still feel that way, that there are still things I'm discovering about him, he still does things that make me fall deeper and deeper in.
I can't say that I know where we will end up forever. I can't say that I know our future will be perfect with each other. But I know that this is the best gamble I can make. That is the one with the best odds--I feel like it's a sure bet.
In some ways, I was relieved to hear that other people just guess--that they never have an aha! moment where an answer to a huge life question comes clear. I don't think those exist for every decision I will have to make. I think as children we think that as we become adults, we have all the answers, to only find out that the questions get bigger, the risks bigger. And we only have some past experiences to rely upon, or secondhand stories, to help us decide what's best.
But over this past year, which has definitely been a roller-coaster for me, one thing that has been rock solid has been William and I.
And when he asked me to marry him, and I just kept saying "When did you have time to do this?" on some level, I was stalling the moment, there on Ka'anapali Beach, in the dark, with the breeze blowing, in paradise. But when I really, really think about that moment, I can still recreate it in my mind. I still sometimes get distracted by my ring, hardly believing that this moment has happened to me.
And that's what tells me that this is the best, the closest I'm ever goign to get to experience the you just know feeling. No divine interventionist will come and tell me, "Katie, this is the right decision."
Everyone who knows me well knows I like to poll people on things: what to buy, what color to put in my hair, what's going on in pop culture. But this was one time, more than buying a pair of skinny jeans, more than going red, that I understood this was the right thing to do. And, ironically, after telling everyone about it, they have all enthusiastically agreed. I didn't need it beforehand.
I'm not all-knowing, I'm not perfect, and I've definitely made bad decisions that I thought I was initially right about. But when I think about all the times that we have weathered, even in a short less-than-two-years---cancer, joblessness, moving in together, sickness--we've been there for each other. And every day feels just as important and exciting and supportive as the last.
I'm still falling. I hope--and I feel that I'm probably right--that we'll be holding hands in the pharmacy line when we're 70. I just love him that much. And if I love him that much now, it can only get bigger as time goes on. That's the great side of the affairs of the heart: with love, your heart knows no capacity.
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