U Can't Touch This

Today has been a very surreal day.

It started out with my honey emailing me to tell me three of his photos have been chosen for a biannual art magazine—including the COVER.

Sweet. Good day. Good success. Happy happy joy joy!!! That's huge. William's been working hard on his Etsy shop and to get a break like that is pretty amazing. Not to mention the happiness I feel for my husband when someone notices his talents. We like to dream that someday we'd own our own random firm of photography, writing, architecture, and crafty stuff. In a cool old brick building, living above/working below, with a rooftop deck. Ahhh . . . can you picture it?

I was busy today, so I hadn't processed my thoughts about the situation much past that. It was about to get much, much funnier, cooler, and stranger.

A couple of hours later, I get another email from William, and this time it says that someone on Etsy contacted him to let him know that—stop, Hammertime!—MC HAMMER tweeted about an item William had posted to his Etsy store this weekend:So what did Hammer rap about it?
"I like it!!! I'm biased? OK, OK..." with a LINK to the item!

FAQ:
1. Yes, it appears to be the REAL Hammer. It links to his websites, and the tweets don't appear to be about anything that would be "off-brand" like some fake-celeb-Twitter accounts are.
2. He also has about 112,000 followers. I don't think FakeSarahPalin had that many.
3. It has been the latest twitter for 11 hours. William's gotten a very large amount of hits to his store today . . .
4. Yes, we have been singing 2 Legit 2 Quit all day.

So, now not only has William added cover credits to his rez in like an SIXTEENTH the time I got mine, he's also got a better celeb following than I probably do. Though supposedly Fran Drescher and Ryan Adams are following me, they haven't TWEETED about me.

SRSLY. What a day!

Overslept into a parallel universe

This morning, our pattern was all out of whack.

William got up early, extra early, to go to work. His alarm went off instead of mine. When he got in the shower, I thought, Oh hell, why do I have this stupid alarm on? I'll be up the second he gets out of the shower....and that was the last thought I had. He came out and got dressed and ready for the day, and left. And I was OUT COLD. People, I sleep hard. It actually kind of freaks me out. I mean, our DOOR OPENED AND CLOSED. Nada. I bet I didn't even move.

Next thing I know, Molly is clawing my hand and snorting, making a fuss, because she wants up on the bed for a snuggle (wood floors+furry paws=she wants a lift). Thank GOD! Because otherwise, I don't know how long I would have slept. Out of the bed I fly, to find a note on the mirror. "Don't forget to move your car by 8. Loves."

Shit! Yes, move the car, move the car. Fly outside in my PJs, whip the car into a different parking spot.

Normally, William and I get together every morning, talking about news on the Today show, pouring OJ, trading spaces at the sink to brush our teeth. I'm used to our routine. This morning, it was like a parallel universe, and I had come totally undone.

With that.

What are your middle names? Ann and George

How long have you been together? nearly four years

How long did you know each other before you started dating? depends on how you look at it. We have known who each other was for....about 15 years. (Whoa, we're getting old.) But we never spoke a WORD to each other until about four years ago. Yep.

Who asked who out? William asked me. Well, rather, he told me. He said "And when you get back from your parents' cabin, we'll go out to dinner." I think it's safe to say I was completely flabbergasted.

How old were each of you when you met? 24ish

How old are each of you now? We're both 28

How tall are each of you? I'm 5'6"ish and he's 6'2"ish

Do you have any children together? Nope. But we fight over names of children fairly often, for a couple who has no plans for children in the near future.

What about pets? Momo the wonderpoo

Did you go to the same school? Yep, both high school (where our lockers were FIVE lockers apart) and college.

Are you from the same hometown? Just a few blocks apart.

Who is the most sensitive? I think we're both sensitive people. I'm probably more sensitive though.

Where do you eat out most as a couple? We're more the take-in type. Taste of Thailand. Mmmm.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple? Hawaii. Did you know it's like the place on Earth that is the farthest from any other inhabitable place on Earth? Whoa.

Who has the worst temper? William. I'm no angel, either.

Who does/did the cooking? We split. William's a better imaginative cook. I need a recipe.

Who is more social? Me

Who is the neat-freak? William

Who hogs the bed? That is a huge point of contention. Best not to bring it up.

Who wakes up earlier? We get up pretty much at the same time.

Who has the bigger family? William!

Do you have little pet names for each other? William calls me Smalls a lot. I call him honey or darling, usually.

How long did it take to get serious? Not long. A couple months? We moved in together after six months, so it moved fast. I knew on the first date that I was in love.

Who eats more? I can definitely hold my own, but when push comes to shove, Wm eats more. I can eat more cheese!

Who sings better? Probably me but I don't have any kind of voice to boast about.

Who’s older? William, by 20 days.

Who does the dishes? we take turns

Who snores? I do sometimes. I caught Wm snoring once or twice.

Who’s better with the computer? William

Who drives when you are together? We switch off. Depends on where we're going.

Who is the first to admit when they're wrong? I usually want to make the peace, but neither of us likes admitting we're wrong. I think, actually, Wm is probably better at that.

Who has more tattoos? We have imaginary tattoos.

Who eats more sweets? We both have our weaknesses.

I promise that I will do some honest-to-God writing soon. If I don't, I might go crazy.

Under Pressure

Lots of work happening and a quasi-flu virus.

So, I'm overwhelmed and not feeling all that hot. But I wanted to check in and let y'all know I'm here. Bleh.

Reason #435,509,945,980.459219 Why My Mom Rocks

Today, instead of going shopping like she'd planned, she came home to my very sick dog (reminder: Mo stays with my parents during the day due to her separation anxiety) and took care of her.

Poor Molly had done many icky things in her kennel, because something seems to have made her a sicky-tummy puppy. And because she was in her little kennel, she was covered in it. So she cleaned up Molly, cleaned out the kennel--almost done--and then Molly managed to throw up four more times. A lot. A lot lot.

My mom called me at work because she was a little panicked. I was stuck in meetings, so there wasn't much I could do. When I got home to pick her up, I found my little Molly Sunshine acting totally normally, wagging her tail and looking for affection.

My mom said, "I was so worried about her, if she had a blockage or something, if something happened to her, I know you'd be so bereft."

I would, but I would know that Mo was with my mom, who ROCKS. Who, above and beyond anything else, cares for people (and our sweet dog) so very selflessly. Who isn't worrying about how gross dog vomit is (well, maybe a little), but whether Molly is OK and whether I'll be OK if she isn't.

I don't think it's ever been any secret that I think my mom is AWESOME, but I just feel so very grateful for her and so thankful that she is the person she is.

Thanks, Mommy. You rock.

And that is all.

Gettin' Lippy

I do not recommend getting a mucocele in your lip. It's this little water-balloon-ey bump and you have to get them removed or they take up permanent residence in your mouth and grow and shrink as they please. They are simply damaged spit glands (you can get if you are a chronic lip-chewer such as I) but dammit they are ANNOYING.

As you might have guessed. I got one. And I had to have it removed. And it was only about a 10 minute process after the Novocain set in (and WHY do those syringes have to come in that ghastly torture chamber device metal thing even if they don't have to reach way back in your mouth), but it was still awful and made my hands sweat so hard my jeans were damp when I left and I felt a little fainty but I lied to the dentist and told him that I was FINE, FPHFINE, prease keepsh gong, because if it had taken 2 more minutes I might have screamed and ran, spit-sucker and all?

Oh, and now the joy of stitches (which I always forget to type the second "t" in when typing, but not writing) and dissolve-ment, and not being able to eat solid foods--what I wouldn't give for a New York Strip and Milk Duds, anything chewy and filling, please GOD.

Also, lastly, that feeling where I can tell where the remaining stitches are holding my cut together? YOU OOOK ME OUT.

PS: Vicodin? You made me feel like I was floating. And like I should sleep for 48 hours.

Red

I have always, always, always wanted red hair. My stylist wants me to take the plunge this next appointment (which I have to make).

Here's what I've been thinking.








What wethinks, peeps? Because I am SCARED.

More Small Things

1. Dreaming I'm allergic to strawberries and tomatoes....only to wake up and realize yay!!!! I'm not! (Seriously, I was so upset that I was allergic to tomatoes in my dream—do you KNOW how much I LOVE tomatoes?)

2. Molly putting her head on my shoulder and staring at my face while I type.

3. Getting tickets to see Annie with my sister and mom. It's Annie. You know, my childhood movie heroine? Yeah, her.

4. Having all my Valentine's Day presents figured out and bought way ahead of time.

5. Butternut squash soup with lots of black pepper.

Just five today. But five good ones.