i never said nothing

i just caught a second of liz phair on vh1. and can i say, that it was an awesome peak point to an otherwise low day? she is so sexy! and it was a 90s clip and the song made me heart race. plus. her music. goes right to my heart every time.
liz phair is one of my idols. i feel silly being 27 and saying that. but i love her. i'll never tire of exile in guyville....and i know that's so cliche. but it is a "rad record" as jewel was quoted as saying. it's so intricate, the lyrics are so good. whip-smart is great too. i even like her pop stuff (most liz fans don't).
i even wrote women's studies papers about her lyrics.
so imagine the total and complete paralysis that came over me when i was about 10 feet from her, and she looked into my eyes, and said, "hello!" and she looked genuine and interested and it caught me so off guard.
but before that happened. . . kilipino said to me, "don't turn around, and act cool, because liz phair is coming this way." i totally thought she was joking. but she was not.
i'm not sure what look crossed my face, but i had a physical reaction. i could feel my heart racing, my knees getting weak. like the cutest boy in high school suddenly noticed i existed. that's the closest thing i can use to describe it.
i was lucky to share this moment with two friends, kilipino and fatty.
some guy came out of nowhere and asked her to sign an album. it was about this moment that it was really liz. like really. i remember she said "i will, but i have to go in there [gestures towards tour bus] but i'll be back and do it then."
we looked at each other in wide-eyed surprise. we hadn't intended to be standing outside her tour bus, but we were without much realizing it, as we were playing the "what do you want to do now?" "i don't know," game. suddenly, here was liz.
thanks to kilipino, we got autographs when liz came off the bus. (she had a sharpie in her purse). we also got photos. liz asked US if we wanted to take photos. thanks again to kilipino, who is known for having EVERYTHING in her purse, we have photos.
seriously, liz phair put her arm around me, put her face against mine (imagine my shock, i was trying to maintain a respectable distance so she didn't feel creeped out), and we took a picture. i was rendered so brainless, i could barely eke out a thank-you. after the oh-so-sweet interaction, we walked away, shaking.
i called my brother, and left him a message on his answering machine, which started out with me talking quietly, but finished with "LIZ PHAIR TOUCHED ME!" kilipino called her brother, who upon hearing we had in fact touched liz phair, asked 'so are you reeking of female sexuality now?' why yes, yes we were.
we get into the car (fatty had parted ways with our crazed selves). we pull up to the first stoplight, where an unsuspecting biker is waiting for the light to change. kilipino rolls down the window. and yells. "HEY! liz phair just TOUCHED MY BEST FRIEND!" the poor guy practically fell off his bike.
if you know either me or kilipino in real life, you know once the idea came to us to yell this news. . . we couldn't resist. just once wasn't enough. poor people the whole way home (and yes we took some detours) were treated to us yelling this phrase over and over. we were just so excited, we had to tell the whole world. as usual, we were each other's best audiences.
we just laughed and laughed and laughed and shouted as if this maniacal but joyous yelling confirmed that what had just taken place was not some kind of dream. it was real. i laughed so hard that night it occurred to me that i shouldn't be operating a car. my stomach hurt, my cheeks hurt, tears were streaming out of my eyes. i can remember kilipino's infectious giggle echoing down grand avenue.
it was a perfect summery night in minnesota. it was our glory ride.