One Singular Scentsation

I come to you, my blog friends, with a serious problem.

Don't laugh.

Bath and Body Works is discontinuing my favorite scent.

I am so FLIPPING mad. First of all, I had NO idea. NO ONE from the company let me know that hey—our most popular scent, you know, the ONE YOU ALWAYS WEAR, the one your HUSBAND loves even—yeah, that's going away. No, NO—I learned the hard way, like when someone doesn't tell you the bad news because they don't want to break it to you and then you find out some roundabout way and you're mad that someone PULLED THE WOOL this whole time and if only someone had TOLD YOU you could have DONE SOMEthing.

The other day, I got an email from B&BW, and it was some Columbus Day sale (I don't understand this sale time at all, but I'll take it.) I went to see if my beloved Brown Sugar & Fig was on sale. Imagine my delight! $5 a bottle for the body cream! I click happily...to find some icky red text proclaiming, "Fond Farewell". I blinked. I pulled the cartoon double take. I could hear Looney Tunes sound effects echoing around me. This cannot be! I hit refresh a couple times. Oh yes, it's true. Discontinued, and oh--sold out online.

Oh, the sadness. Oh, the humanity! How can they do this to me?

My brown sugar & fig obsession started a couple years ago, as a gift from my mom. I had been sick a lot and had a little medical scare, and I think she knew I was feeling pretty down and out. She brought home for me one day a tub of the BS&F butter. I immediately was in love....the warmth, the fruity, the musk, the light hint of coconut. Ever since, the only times I've really strayed were for my former job (where I was a beauty editor)--testing lotions, and if I got a special gift, which was rare (no one ever really buys me beauty stuff since I have a ton as it is).

I've been wearing it as long as William and I have been together. To him, that is what I smell like. So when i sent him a sad, ranty email the other morning, he responded with a sincere, "OH NO! That is the best smell!" Scent is strongly linked to memory. Its like closing a chapter in my life! My mom responded kindly by giving me a bottle she had stashed away in her closet.

But COME ON. I am so sad. Stupid discontinued products!!!!!! I should add that B&BW also discontinued one of the best lavender scents on the market too. Sad day.

I have to say, I actually did yell, "Stupid discontinued products!" as I typed it. Molly came over, put her paw on my heart, and snuggled in. Oh, my dog. She knows the pain in my heart.

Diagnosis Thus Far: IBS

I used to like saying "Hi Friends" to people as I approached them. I think John McCain has completely ruined my opportunity to do that in a genuine way. ARGH!

So, hi.

Saw the GI doc on Friday morning. What a wonderful, wonderful man. I could have kissed him. He sat with me for an hour and talked over all my problems. He was sincere, concise, compassionate, and action-oriented. I am now on two drugs, one every day and one taken as needed, to see if this helps. I'll be checking in with him in two weeks on the phone (he says I can call every day if I want), and then we'll move forward from there. The only downfall to the whole thing was my blood draw. They are testing me for Celiac disease, but he didn't seem to think this was a serious concern (thank God, because I thought it might be). Also, I seem to be lactose-intolerance-free! Hooray! I can continue eating my favorite food—cheese. In fact, as I sit typing this I'm enjoying some Gouda. As he said, "It's not the food, it's your stomach."

So, in the couple days leading up I was starting to feel quite a bit better, since the appointment I've been feeling like myself and eating whatever I please. (It definitely goes in cycles. I assume I bottomed out and am now back on the upswing, at least for a while.) I may still have to modify my diet if I find certain foods bring on the episodes or exacerbate them, but for now, I say, full steam ahead!

By the way, after that you'd think I'd lose a couple pounds...oh no. I gained! How is that possible?

Saturday morning I was feeling pretty good. I drove to dance class and it was the most blazing fall day. Warm, vibrant, no hint of what's yet to come. Vivid blue sky, and underneath it, trees aflame on every corner. I drove past farmers' fields, full of reds, oranges, yellows, and greens, sometimes all on the same tree. I turned up some Thievery Corporation and drove along, thinking about how sometimes, you can forget everything for a few minutes and feel like life is just beautiful.

Inexplicable

Somehow, about thirty or so minutes after writing that blog last night, I felt better. I felt normal all day; I didn't eat anything outside my soup/apple/granola bar/oatmeal/activia diet, either, but I felt mostly like myself. Tonight, I agreed to eat frozen pizza, but entered with the expectation that I would feel wildly sick.
I feel fine (knock on wood).

This just goes to show how it doesn't matter what I eat, it's just how my body is feeling on any given day.

Tomorrow morning is the doctor visit. I'm a little nervous. Wish me luck and answers!

Not a whole lot of other news cooking here right now. Sorry.

Consumed

Seriously? I haven't been blogging, because honestly, my life is consumed with what I'm eating, when I'm eating it, how I'm eating, recording what I'm eating, panicking because my stomach suddenly hurts, rejoicing because it doesn't hurt, oh yes wait a second, it hurts.

Honestly, it's making me super crabby and depressed. I want my stomach back. I want to eat normal food. I want to not have headaches because I'm so hungry. I want to stop craving steaks and hamburgers and spinach (think I'm a little low on iron?).

I want to go to work and feel good all day. I want to feel good when I come home. I want to eat normal lunch and normal dinner. I take pretty good care of myself. I eat right, I'm starting to exercise more, I get enough sleep. I'm 27. This shouldn't be happening. It's like waking up every morning to a little slice of internal hell.

Weekend Update

Despite my feeling very crappy for the last, oh, seven or so days, I did have a few highs this weekend.

Friday night: eating spectacular tom yum soup from our favorite Thai place and not getting sick. Watching movies—yes, you can rent them for $1 a night at McDonald's and some grocery stores, for those of you who asked the last time—with my honey, on the couch. (Saw: Sex and the City, Leatherheads, Forgetting Sarah Marshall).

Saturday: learning the art of bellydancing for an hour and a half with my sister. It's hard! We giggle a lot. Still, I feel I get a good workout, hear fun middle eastern club music, and I think I do feel better afterward. Hips are so sore.

A beautiful wedding of some friends. So sophisticated with champagne and cream colors everywhere. A fun couple with great taste. Outside on the Mississippi just a few blocks from our home. I was so happy for them. And it was a little reminder of where I was four months ago.

Then, a be-still-my-heart moment: A night with Liz Phair...where she performed the entirety of Exile in Guyville in order, plus an encore of a new song, Chopsticks, May Queen, Polyester Bride. I know I've written about how I've met Liz before, and how much I love her, but this was like the concert of my life. Exile in Guyville is my favorite album of all time. I can listen to it in any mood. It understands me. When I'm feeling lonely, sad, happy, frustrated, elated, angry, moody, thoughtful, or content, it speaks to me. Fatty and I had great sightlines, very close. It makes my heart so big that she decided to do this tour, 15 years after the album was being released. I'm still having trouble putting it into words. I had a big dumb smile on my face all night, I rocked out. After a long, shitty week, it was a welcome, needed, and loved couple of hours.

Today: running errands with a friend, having a gift card to the bookstore (bought: The Wind Up Bird Chronicle by Haruki Murakami, Helter Skelter by Vincent Bugliosi, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz), Simply Orange and waffles with my honey, making a "real" dinner, as William called it: meatloaf, roasted potatoes, and squash. And it tasted like the best thing ever. And it agreed with me.

Bonus: fall clothes, getting rolled out! I was hoping that there would be some things packed away I'd forgotten about, but was a little bummed to find that's not the case. Sad day! But hooray for scarves and skinny jeans with tall boots.

Doggone Right

I have to go there on the politics.

She winked into the camera.

She called the average guy "Joe Six Pack"

She insulted teachers who are working their asses off to make education decent for kids.

She talked about energy and education when the topics were mortgages and foreign policy.

She used the "I have a [friend], so I'm tolerant and diverse" sentence.

Any time she deviated from her script she had to wink into the camera and use her little colloqualisms--doggone, heckuva, you betcha. when the questions called for an answer she hadn't been provided with, she just ranted on whatever she had information for.

Then there was the defiant "I may not answer your question, but I'm gonna talk straight to the American people." Well excuse me, this is a DEBATE with TOPICS.

Folksy neighbors with their silly talk and run-on sentences are fine at HOME. I don't want one representing the USA. In charge of the country that I love. I don't want to have a beer with my elected officials. I don't want to go to a hockey game with them. I want them to be smarter than me, make better decisions than I can. I want them to be a representative of our ideals and people, yes, but smooth, sophisticated, prepared.

Some pundits are saying she could have won. How is that even possible? Am I living in an alternate universe? Is there something I don't understand here?

I have a stomachache of a different kind tonight. Serious.

PS: How is not going down in flames the new standard for success? And since when is coming prepared with facts and numbers seen as negative? Since when have we wanted vote for the lowest common denominator? OHMYGOD.

PPS: NSFW language, possibly. Found this via Free and Flawed: Hey There Sarah Palin

Eating

...is so good. I ate chicken and squash. And it's so good.

Yes, that is the sum total of my past few days.

That is all.