Falling

Yesterday, I went in the mall with one of my BFFs, the friend I've had the absolute longest, who happens to be leaving the country in three weeks to teach English for six months. (I will then lack a best friend that lives in the state, my little tri-shaped cocoon broken up by geography.)

When we came back out of the mall a couple of hours later, the temperature had dropped a good 10 to 15 degrees. The wind was blowing, and the sky looked menacing. The thin hoodie and yoga pants I was wearing (yeah, I really care about my appearance lately) were not enough, and we ran for the car, giggling about how she wasn't going to miss the cold winter. I told her that no one else runs screaming to the car like we do when it's cold...so now I'm just going to look insane when I do it by myself.

Again, today was dark and cloudy and threatened rain. It was a long, swirling ball of stress and more-than-intermittent frustration, running here and there, my patience (never known for its long fuse) shorter than usual.

Suddenly, friend-adventures abound in my life; babies (my GOD the babies; what water all are these women drinking? I think I now roundabouts 20 people who are pregnant or gave birth this year), weddings (again, around 20 people), travel, blazing new pathways through our quasi-adulthood. Seasons are changing.

I'm so, so excited for all these people and their wonderful news. Seriously, I love getting the news that someone's engaged or pregnant or off to fulfill a life dream, and I get super crabby when people aren't supportive of everyone's good fortunes. I've noticed lately that there's a lack of genuine excitement for other people and I'm working hard to combat that jealous force all by myself, if I have to. And their good newses end up cheering my OWN moods, and I rely on them when I'm feeling like the world is tipping off its axis just a little bit.

But still. It forces me to evaluate my own life. I'm struggling to find my next adventures, my own life path, my own dreams, whatever they may be. But that doesn't change my happiness or excitement for everyone else--hell, if they pursue their dreams, it inspires me to do the same.

I have to say that tonight, as I walked through the door after an extralong day, those fall clouds parted a little upon seeing my darling husband chopping garlic for our dinner.

here comes the fall

labor day weekend. i can't help it, but it makes me a little sad. a three-day last hurrah to summer. although summer is still runnin', according to the calendar.
don't get me wrong, i love fall clothes, i love the holidays, i love the smell of leaves, all that good stuff. but i'm leaving my summer behind. as imperfect as it was, the world is now tilting toward winter, and that, i just don't want to deal with. i feel like we just emerged from all that. i blinked and it was over.
so i'm dealing with a bit of the blues tonight. this too shall pass, as my mom tells me whenever things seem weird.
that being said, i had a perfectly lovely weekend.
friday night i went to the state fair (a huge deal here, in case you don't know) for my best friend's birthday. we ate a lot of junk food--cheese curds, pronto pups, key lime pie on a stick—saw a lot of strange people, and genuinely enjoyed the night—the weather was perfect, food was good, friends were happy. she got diamond earrings from her boy! woo hoo! a good time for all.
saturday i got to see a good friend who moved a state away a while ago, and it was good to see her and her husband. we went together to another friend's house to see their three-week-old baby. three weeks! already he is alert and looking around and just generally being one of the cutest things on earth. then, as if i couldn't get enough babies, i met y, the new baby that belongs to r. i am in love. he is so sweet. two days old when i met him, with that new-baby wah-wah cry, what an absolute miracle. so it was a babyful day, and babyful sounds like beautiful for a reason.
sunday, sunday, sunday. shopping abounded. i got some new threads for work, which was a nice change because normally i can't find what i want--and then when i finally do, it is definitely not in my price range, of course--and i leave the stores disgusted. finally! stuff that fits, that's cute, that's affordable. i'm still lusting after some j. crew stuff, and of course some even more expensive stuff than that, but i think i did pretty well at the gap (of all places, i haven't been able to find ANYTHING there for about a year at least, but hey, awesome! that gap and i are back to being friends). i love that william will shop with me--with enthusiasm.
sunday morning, we went to the farmer's market and came home with pounds of produce, not to mention two armloads of flowers that are absolutely gorgeous (sunflowers, gladiolus, these weird/cool fuzzy brain things, azaleas). we are so doing farmer's market flowers for the wedding. so cheap and so beautiful! i will miss the farmers' market when it leaves me. then, last night, we headed out to see one of william's friends from grad school, who recently moved to new york city. it was good to see him and others, have some really good food (a blt with basil, who'd have thunk? it was awesome!), good drinks (i love strongbow), and some good giggles, especially when we left the bar and william had had a few. he kept me entertained with a steady stream of chatter the whole way home.
today was a great example of a do-nothing day. we watched—yes, we—a whole's day's worth of america's next top model programming on mtv. the total definition of sloth, but seriously, why didn't someone clue me in to the fact that this is such a FANTASTIC show? i'm so out of the loop!
otherwise, a quick list of impressions of the weekend:
ferris wheels, baby animals, fried cheese curds, hot sun, cool breeze, open windows, napping, back rubs, corn on the cob, fresh tomatoes, tank tops, cold beer, loud music, celebrations of all kinds of birthdays, couch time, pillows, molly snuggles, scent of new babies, brimming tears, television, documentaries, sweet words, clean laundry, bacon, fresh flowers, free time.
ah, my friends. free time. here comes the fall.