For the next year

It's been really, really hard for me to put into words what I want to do in 2010. Not because I don't have ideas, but because I want to really be able to put those ideas into action. I want them to be lifestyle changes and life choices, both tangible and intangible. I want to be able to commit to them fully, and I want them to be reachable. I totally understand the need to make goals—things you reach for—but I don't want to feel like I fall short.

It's almost like last year was a hibernation. Trying to insulate myself from the outside world, hunkering down and battening down the hatches. Escaping so much of the negative that took place.

Overall, that strategy didn't work. Lesson learned. I still felt sad and defeated, frustrated and outraged, by so much that happened—and definitely not just personally. It was the national psychology of 2009, it seems, except, it seems, for those who married or gave birth. For those of us just living daily life, many of us limped along, momentarily buoyed by friends' or families' big days.

2010 does feel different already. Maybe last year was a time for introspection. A dormant period before buds burst into full bloom.

In 2010, I will...be happy.

Here are things that I think will get me there, and why:

Travel
I am a true Sagittarian. Although I feel comforted by routines and control, I crave new experiences, particularly when they involve meeting new people and seeing new places. I love learning about other cultures, customs, and habits. I love to be immersed in new information. It's what led me to study journalism and political science, it's part of what fuels my mostly outgoing nature.

I'm planning an incredible trip to one of my top five destinations of all time, Thailand. As you may already know, my best friend is living there, and I finally am in a place where I can afford to take a big trip, after two-years-plus of credit card debt payback, losing my job, getting married, weddings, babies, and finally opening a savings account. It's coming up fast, and trust me, there will be more blog posts about this in the near future.

But, depending on my finances, I want to make an effort to travel more. I want to see my other best friend on the East coast, Wm's two best friends on the East Coast, and who knows what, who, and where else. For Christmas, I got a GPS. I think it will be time for short road trips, too. Get out into the world, get out of my head. Get inspiration.

Appear in a national magazine and/or on a nationally read website
Yep. This has been a goal of mine for a while. Like, at least as long as I've had this blog, if not from the time I was about four. I've been working hard, and finding new freelance projects, but I need to plunge ahead. No more excuses, just straight up creating, thinking, writing, writing, editing, writing, querying. I CAN do this.

Bring the blog up a notch
Blog more, blog better. New design. More interaction between blogs. It's time.

Be more plan-minded
I was just commenting to my handsome husband that dinners have been better, better for us, and less stressful lately. I've been using my subscription to Martha Stewart's Everyday Food (thanks, Mom!) to plan a couple weeks' worth of dinners, and then following through. We have less to toss out, more leftovers for lunches, and overall, I think we feel good. None of that "I don't know, what do you want?" "Um, I dunno. What do you want?" and settling for snacking business.

Now I need to make that a habit (I do the grocery shopping; we split cooking and cleaning up) and make that a habit elsewhere in my life.

Attack to-do lists with gusto, follow through with them so that I can feel accomplished, not exhausted by procrastination.

Do small things throughout the week to clean up rather than having to spend half a Saturday to clean up. Even 10 to 15 minutes will make a difference.

Outcome: I will feel less stressed, which will allow me to concentrate on things that make me happy. I won't be worried about getting stuff done, so I can think about what I CAN do.

Make appearances at the Y several times a week
In-reach goal: Three times weekly.

Ideal goal: Five times weekly.

Two really good things happened to me in 2009: I started exercising, and I kept exercising.

You guys, it's changing my life. I can feel it. And I can't believe it. I am not athletic, I have always pretty much hated sports, I'd prefer to read a book and eat a pound of cheese while I'm at it. I am not the best in class, I don't rise to the top when it comes to weightlifting, I can't touch the floor in forward fold in yoga.

But I'm improving, each time I go. I sweat, my heart races, my face gets unnaturally red. But you know what? My body is changing shape. I have previously-unheard of levels of energy. Just the other morning I was in the bathroom getting ready for work, and unconsciously singing to myself. I overheard Wm say to Mo: "Who is that strange lady in the bathroom?" It's true. I get out of bed more easily (mornings still suck, don't worry; I am not a mere shadow of my former self yet), I have more energy to do things after work, I feel increasingly motivated and capable of accomplishments. I have less stomachaches, which makes me happy, and I get things done, which makes me happy.

The number on the scale is simply one measurement. I've maybe lost four pounds. But I look different, and most importantly, I FEEL different. This is just the beginning.

Commit to friends and family
I recently read something in Real Simple that struck me. It was the "Your Words" section, where readers respond to a question. This month's question, appropriately, was "What will you do differently this year?"

One woman answered that she would put her husband first. At first, feminist-Katie kneejerk-reaction was like "Uh..." But the rest of the quote really hit home. "We each work two jobs and have family, volunteer, and social commitments, so we're exhausted at the end of the day. he deserves the best of me—not what's left over after I'm done with everything else."

I feel like that applies to a lot of people in my life, not just my husband. My parents, my siblings, my nearest and dearest. I don't want any of them to get what's "left over." Everyday life can be hard: we're all busy, stressful, overloaded. But friends and family—they should get the best of me. Especially my husband and my dog.

This is an area for huge improvement for me. I feel most vital when I make connections with my loved ones (and meet new people who could become dear friends). It's time to be mindful of that, not just skate through every day, hoping to be a good person.

Live small, in order to live large
In the last year or two, I've really realized that living small might be the key to feeling truly enriched. That requires forethought and commitment, two things I was never that big on up until now. I just thought that naturally happened. Wakeup call: It Doesn't.

I don't want to be a flaky friend or ditzy colleague. I don't want to find myself saying any of the words "could've, should've, would've." I want to say "will, can, did." I want to have the resources I need—emotionally, physically, financially—to make the best of every situation.

It means saying no once in a while (or a lot). It means planning ahead. It means committing to make time for those emotional, physical, and financial investments. It means not wanting so much. It means being grateful for what I have, instead of always wishing it was different. It means checking myself when I start to tilt too far to one side.

I can feel this nearly seismic change in my life already. I know that I have the tools I need to at least get started. I can learn a lot this year. I can change a lot this year. I can love a lot this year. I can be the person I want to be, when I want to be it.

I am capable.

I am happy. And I will do the things I can control to keep me there. The rest will happen, and I will meet it head-on. It's the new, improved me.