Despite my rather Type-A Personality, I am dreadfully unorganized. I've just got to accept it.
My memory is not what it used to be—I must make lists, check them off, double check everything before I leave the house (in order of importance: coffee, phone, keys. I'm not kidding).
I don't know if it's just a matter of being an adult and dealing with itinerant distractions; if it's because I have less time because of holding an actual-real-life job; or if I'm truly getting more forgetful as I get older. But in any case, it bugs me. Because I'm a perfectionist in so many other ways.
My mom laughs at me when she asks me to check my calendar—it's a rather large planner, with lots of stuff stuck in the back—old receipts, tickets to concerts, gift certificates, coupons, directions to people's houses...whatever I might need in an emergency at Target, in the car, or if I magically have some free time and want to do some shopping. It's like my first-aid kit. Well, some people might view it more as triage.
And no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to get organized electronically. It's like I need actual hard-copy versions of things where I can scribble out, tear away, and write down. It's harder for me to remember things I type than things I physically write. Sometimes my lists are ridiculously detailed, and sometimes they're so vague I don't remember why I bothered to jot a note.
I would love to be one of those neat, organized, ahead-of-time, controlled people. It happens occasionally and I'm always so grateful I thought ahead. But for now, I'm just that frazzled girl with the huge bag—required to carry my messy, scrappy planner—running out the door at the last second.
(If you have any ideas for me, let me know.)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
On Quitting
I have a new respect for people trying to quit just about anything that has become habitual for them.
Tomorrow (today probably for you, dear readers) marks the two-month no-pop mark.
That's right. One of my favorite things in the entire world. None of it.
That's a lie. I had a few tiny sips from my sister's Coke at the Metrodome right after I made my resolve (Metrodome Coke tastes the best!) and then nearly two months went by--and this weekend, I had a couple sips of some grape Crush because William drank it in the car on the way to the lake and I can't quit you, grape smell! I can't!
But they were sips. I haven't cracked a can at home, alone; I haven't ordered a glass of pop out at a restaurant.
I'm changing the habit. I think I've gotten over the hardest part. I still miss it. I wish I could drink it without a stomachache. Or without calories. But I cannot. You understand: I have Dr Pepper t-shirts, necklaces... Dr Pepper is truly one of my favorite things ever invented. And these August days are perfect for an ice-cold, sweaty-canned cream soda.
And because of that, I have to quit it entirely. Just like any other bad habit. One can will lead to two will lead to a 12-pack. After dinner, after breakfast, after a nap. I can't be a social pop drinker. It's good for my stomach, it's good for the scale, it's good for my teeth. It's good for a million reasons.
But I'm still sitting here thinking it would taste so good.
You may think I'm being sarcastic, here. Sadly, sadly. I am not.
Tomorrow (today probably for you, dear readers) marks the two-month no-pop mark.
That's right. One of my favorite things in the entire world. None of it.
That's a lie. I had a few tiny sips from my sister's Coke at the Metrodome right after I made my resolve (Metrodome Coke tastes the best!) and then nearly two months went by--and this weekend, I had a couple sips of some grape Crush because William drank it in the car on the way to the lake and I can't quit you, grape smell! I can't!
But they were sips. I haven't cracked a can at home, alone; I haven't ordered a glass of pop out at a restaurant.
I'm changing the habit. I think I've gotten over the hardest part. I still miss it. I wish I could drink it without a stomachache. Or without calories. But I cannot. You understand: I have Dr Pepper t-shirts, necklaces... Dr Pepper is truly one of my favorite things ever invented. And these August days are perfect for an ice-cold, sweaty-canned cream soda.
And because of that, I have to quit it entirely. Just like any other bad habit. One can will lead to two will lead to a 12-pack. After dinner, after breakfast, after a nap. I can't be a social pop drinker. It's good for my stomach, it's good for the scale, it's good for my teeth. It's good for a million reasons.
But I'm still sitting here thinking it would taste so good.
You may think I'm being sarcastic, here. Sadly, sadly. I am not.
Monday, August 17, 2009
Favorite Things, Part I
A long time ago, a friend told me to do a blog post about my favorite things. I have been turning the idea over and over ever since (and it was a long time ago). I decided to break it up into parts. Today's is a little more of the personal side. (Please ignore my tell-not-show writing style here, and forgive me. One of these days I'll have more time for a show-not-tell post.) Later, I'll do fun gear. Because everyone likes gear.
One of my favorite things about my relationship with my husband happens when we are watching a scene on TV or a scene unfold in public, and we look at each other, and we just KNOW what the other person is thinking. A small shake of the head, a smile, or a glance, and it's a whole conversation. It makes me light up inside.
One of my favorite things about my family is that we actually love to spend time together. We genuine interest in each other, and we are all kind to each other, and to others out in the world--I'm very lucky that I am surrounded by such generous people--with their time, their love, their enthusiasm, and their support when things get rough. I have a deep sense of admiration for these people.
One of my favorite things about my friends is that I can always, always, always count on them to pick me up. Time and again, my friends say and do things that keep me real, cheer me up, and remind me not to take everything so seriously. And we can always make each other laugh. And god knows, I love laughing. We are so good at entertaining each other.
One of my favorite ways to spend time is reading magazines, especially ones with in-depth features (think Esquire, Rolling Stone (though I don't read that one much these days), Bitch, Bust, Vanity Fair, New York, New Yorker) and home decorating (Elle Decor, the beloved but defunct Domino, ReadyMade, etc.). I love getting lost in other people's lives, ways to see the world, and how people live. One of my favorite parts of traveling is the send-off...getting to the airport and splurging on all the great magazines at the newsstands.
Which brings me to one of my favorite things about myself--this one was hard. I think one of my favorite things about myself is my sense of curiosity. I like to learn about other people and their lives, what makes them tick, how they live, how to do new things, or how the world goes 'round. I'm truly curious, and I hope I never lose that sense of wanting to learn, wanting to be surprised, and constantly finding signs that humanity isn't totally cracked.
One of my favorite things about my relationship with my husband happens when we are watching a scene on TV or a scene unfold in public, and we look at each other, and we just KNOW what the other person is thinking. A small shake of the head, a smile, or a glance, and it's a whole conversation. It makes me light up inside.
One of my favorite things about my family is that we actually love to spend time together. We genuine interest in each other, and we are all kind to each other, and to others out in the world--I'm very lucky that I am surrounded by such generous people--with their time, their love, their enthusiasm, and their support when things get rough. I have a deep sense of admiration for these people.
One of my favorite things about my friends is that I can always, always, always count on them to pick me up. Time and again, my friends say and do things that keep me real, cheer me up, and remind me not to take everything so seriously. And we can always make each other laugh. And god knows, I love laughing. We are so good at entertaining each other.
One of my favorite ways to spend time is reading magazines, especially ones with in-depth features (think Esquire, Rolling Stone (though I don't read that one much these days), Bitch, Bust, Vanity Fair, New York, New Yorker) and home decorating (Elle Decor, the beloved but defunct Domino, ReadyMade, etc.). I love getting lost in other people's lives, ways to see the world, and how people live. One of my favorite parts of traveling is the send-off...getting to the airport and splurging on all the great magazines at the newsstands.
Which brings me to one of my favorite things about myself--this one was hard. I think one of my favorite things about myself is my sense of curiosity. I like to learn about other people and their lives, what makes them tick, how they live, how to do new things, or how the world goes 'round. I'm truly curious, and I hope I never lose that sense of wanting to learn, wanting to be surprised, and constantly finding signs that humanity isn't totally cracked.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Project Charlie
It's just going around. And I'm feelin' it, too.
Summer is my favorite time of year. I love mini skirts and tank tops and flip-flops and lazing around at the beach. This year has been spectacularly devoid of that, but even if it hadn't been, I'd still say I'm quite disappointed at my summer fashion this time 'round. Mostly because I'd say 10% of the things in my closet fit me right now.
This is especially disappointing, considering I bought a lot of cute summer clothes last year for the wedding/honeymoon. I can't wear them! it's a terrible tease.
OK, since this was a bad day, I have to think of some good things to combat it.
Let's see:
Running the 3ish miles. Still.
Crossword puzzles in the back of my New York magazine each week.
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The new Kelly Clarkson album
Having less than 10 car payments left.
Summer is my favorite time of year. I love mini skirts and tank tops and flip-flops and lazing around at the beach. This year has been spectacularly devoid of that, but even if it hadn't been, I'd still say I'm quite disappointed at my summer fashion this time 'round. Mostly because I'd say 10% of the things in my closet fit me right now.
This is especially disappointing, considering I bought a lot of cute summer clothes last year for the wedding/honeymoon. I can't wear them! it's a terrible tease.
OK, since this was a bad day, I have to think of some good things to combat it.
Let's see:
Running the 3ish miles. Still.
Crossword puzzles in the back of my New York magazine each week.
The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
The new Kelly Clarkson album
Having less than 10 car payments left.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Eating Less, Moving More
I really, really surprised myself and ran for FORTY minutes last night. I am estimating, but I have good reason to believe I ran 3.5-4 miles. No stops, no breaks. And not on the easiest setting, either.
Say what??? I'm sort of amazed.
Say what??? I'm sort of amazed.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Molly moments
In the morning, when I wake, our Molly follows me into the bathroom while I put my makeup on, and we have our morning chat.
I tell her I love her, and she wags her tail, not moving the rest of her body. (She's not a morning person, like her Mama). I tell her Daddy loves her, and she wags her tail. I ask her if she loves us back, and she wags her tail harder, and I ask her, "Will you love us forever? We will love you forever," and she wiggles and wiggles and wiggles, like she can barely contain the joy of having a place to call home. Or maybe that's how I feel. But I think she returns the sentiment.
When one of us picks our Molly up from my parents' house, or release her from her kennel, she is so excited to see us. She jumps up and wiggles her butt as fast as it will go, and sometimes if I'm lucky, she lands a kiss on my face. She's quite stingy with her kisses, so you know she must mean it. If she's been in her kennel, she goes straight to her water dish and takes a long drink, wiggling that little nub for all it's worth.
When times are tough, Molly shines. She worries and paces and attempts to soothe any way she can think how to. Her paws to my heart, licking my face, snuggling in tight.
And Molly is not slowed by her enroaching darkness, her blindness. She still loves to play fetch and run just for the sake, the pure joy, of running. She especially loves the snow.
When we drive in the car, she often negotiates her way onto our laps, throwing her head back between jaunts of sticking her face out of the window. She is looking for William or I to kiss her cheek or the top of her head, and she won't move her head out of the way until we do. She leads the way to our door every night, doing her signature cross-wise walk, checking out the dangers that may lie ahead; bikes locked to stop signs, empty wrappers, or god forbid, another mongrel. When we get to our door safely, she wiggles and wiggles and wiggles.
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When I get in bed each night to read a chapter or two of a book before I turn out the light, Molly jumps up on our bed and finds a place to snuggle in. when the light goes off, she jumps down on the floor on my side of the bed, and falls deep asleep. I often doze off to the sounds of her snoring, barking under her breath, and snoozling.
It is because of our Motowns that I notice so many things I might just breeze past otherwise: the joy of seeing someone after a long day apart; the thick, springy, green lawn; the sweetness of fresh summer air; a big bowl of yogurt; eating ice cubes on a hot day; the comings and goings of our neighbors (surely, they are all suspect); the sink-in-ness of the couch, the peace of an afternoon nap.
Life is just good when you have a dog.
I tell her I love her, and she wags her tail, not moving the rest of her body. (She's not a morning person, like her Mama). I tell her Daddy loves her, and she wags her tail. I ask her if she loves us back, and she wags her tail harder, and I ask her, "Will you love us forever? We will love you forever," and she wiggles and wiggles and wiggles, like she can barely contain the joy of having a place to call home. Or maybe that's how I feel. But I think she returns the sentiment.
When one of us picks our Molly up from my parents' house, or release her from her kennel, she is so excited to see us. She jumps up and wiggles her butt as fast as it will go, and sometimes if I'm lucky, she lands a kiss on my face. She's quite stingy with her kisses, so you know she must mean it. If she's been in her kennel, she goes straight to her water dish and takes a long drink, wiggling that little nub for all it's worth.
When times are tough, Molly shines. She worries and paces and attempts to soothe any way she can think how to. Her paws to my heart, licking my face, snuggling in tight.
And Molly is not slowed by her enroaching darkness, her blindness. She still loves to play fetch and run just for the sake, the pure joy, of running. She especially loves the snow.
When we drive in the car, she often negotiates her way onto our laps, throwing her head back between jaunts of sticking her face out of the window. She is looking for William or I to kiss her cheek or the top of her head, and she won't move her head out of the way until we do. She leads the way to our door every night, doing her signature cross-wise walk, checking out the dangers that may lie ahead; bikes locked to stop signs, empty wrappers, or god forbid, another mongrel. When we get to our door safely, she wiggles and wiggles and wiggles.
.jpg)
When I get in bed each night to read a chapter or two of a book before I turn out the light, Molly jumps up on our bed and finds a place to snuggle in. when the light goes off, she jumps down on the floor on my side of the bed, and falls deep asleep. I often doze off to the sounds of her snoring, barking under her breath, and snoozling.
It is because of our Motowns that I notice so many things I might just breeze past otherwise: the joy of seeing someone after a long day apart; the thick, springy, green lawn; the sweetness of fresh summer air; a big bowl of yogurt; eating ice cubes on a hot day; the comings and goings of our neighbors (surely, they are all suspect); the sink-in-ness of the couch, the peace of an afternoon nap.
Life is just good when you have a dog.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Meme Time
I have a better post, all ready to go, but the photos are NOT WORKING. Alas, will have to be posted this weekend.
1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? A publisher.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Always. ALWAYS.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Depends on the situation, but I’m a talker.
4. Do you take compliments well? I cherish sincere compliments but sometimes I have a hard time accepting them.
5. Do you play Sudoku? It involves numbers…so no. But I'll tell you this: Sudoku was spelled wrong on the meme, and I just corrected it. So there!
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? I might. By running to civilization.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? We had a cabin. That WAS my summer camp.
8. What was your favorite game as a kid? I liked Scattergories. And card games.
9. Would you slow dance with someone that you knew was married? At a wedding or something for fun? Sure. If it was intended to be something other than just having fun dancing, then no.
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes. If I wasn’t married.
11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I give you Shakespeare.
Helena:
"We should be woo'd and were not made to woo."
A Midsummer Night's Dream (II, i, 242)
12. Use three words to describe yourself. Nerdy, giggly, loyal
13. Do any songs make you cry? Oh God yes. Lots of them. The one that immediately comes to mind is the Christian funeral song, “On Eagles’ Wings.” Jesus. I can’t even think about it or I burst into tears. "The Star Spangled Banner" gets me once in a while. There are other songs, connected to experiences and moments.
14. Are you continuing your education? I will if I can ever afford it. I really think there should be a Dr. in my title. Even though it won’t be in medicine.
15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? No. But I bet I’d be a good shot if I practiced.
16. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Molly. If she’s a “thing”. Otherwise, probably my photo box and my jewelry box. I don’t have anything expensive, but stuff rich in memories.
17. How often do you read books? I try to read a LOT. Like, a book a week. But I’ve been falling behind . . .
18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Probably a lot about the future. I should stop doing that so much and focus on here and now.
19. What is your favorite children's book? Whoa. Um. What Do People Do All Day?, any Dr. Seuss, Island of the Blue Dolphins, the Ramona Quimby series... this list could go on forever.
20. What color are your eyes? blue
21. How tall are you? 5'6’’
22. Where is your dream house located? Probably on the beaches of South Maui. But, you know, I really like the one I have now. It's home.
23. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? I absolutely LOVE photobooth photos. We used photobooth photos for our save-the-dates.
24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? Um, probably the last time I was there was the time that I accidentally dined and dashed, about six years ago. I wrote the check out, but I must have been distracted, and I didn’t put it in the little holder thing. I found it when I went to write my next check…which was a long time afterward. I called and apologized…and dropped off another check. I couldn't live with the guilt, even though the manager told me it was OK.
25. What is the furthest place you traveled today? Work? Not very far. 12 miles.
26. Do you like mustard? Mmm, yes. And it’s fat-free.
27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? What? I can’t choose.
28. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look exactly like my mother. I don’t even look related to my dad.
29. How long does it take you in the shower? A long time. Probably 15 minutes. It’s an indulgence.
30. Can you do the splits? Never could, never will.
31. What movie do you want to see right now? Something engaging and good.
32. Do you think The Grudge was scary? I didn’t see the whole thing.
33. Do you own a camera phone? Yes.
34. Was your mom a cheerleader? No
35. What's the last letter of your middle name? N
36. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I try to get 8. It’s usually more like 7. I need more like 10.
37. Do you like Care Bears? I did when I was a kid. I also recently tried to trick someone into thinking I had a stomach tattoo in Old English font that said Care Bear Stare. It almost worked.
38. What do you buy at the movies? If I buy something, it’s usually an Icee.
39. Do you know how to play poker? Kind of, but I have the WORST poker face. I don’t play.
40. Do you wear your seatbelt? Always.
41. What do you wear to sleep? It depends on my mood.
42. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? We have the worlds’ smallest park! HELL YEAH! Top that!
43. How many meals do you eat a day? 2.5-3, usually.
44. Is your tongue pierced? No.
45. Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny people. But seriosity is important. And yes, I made that word up.
46. Ever been to L.A.? No, but someday I will have met the Cali girls!!!
47. Did you eat a cookie today? Yes! Although I find I crave them less and less. My sweet tooth is apparently going away.
48. Do you use cuss words in other languages? Does dummkoff count? I think that’s German for dumbass. (actually, dumbhead, now that I look it up). And I never really use that. It was just the only swear word in another language I could think of.
49. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Pay to play, baby, pay to play. Unless it’s Pandora, which isn’t a download.
50. Do you hate chocolate? I’m not psycho, so no.
51. What do you and your parents fight about the most? With my dad? Politics. With my mom? I don’t really fight with her.
52. Are you a gullible person? I don’t think so. Years of my older brother making up stories has made me more critical.
53. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? I’m married… but I didn’t find him until I felt good about myself.
54. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? Feature writer for national magazines, with a book deal, of course.
55. Are you easy to get along with? I think so….
56. What is your favorite time of day? Seeing William after a long day; when I climb into bed, Mo jumps in, and we snuggle and read for a while.
1. The phone rings. Who do you want it to be? A publisher.
2. When shopping at the grocery store, do you return your cart? Always. ALWAYS.
3. In a social setting, are you more of a talker or a listener? Depends on the situation, but I’m a talker.
4. Do you take compliments well? I cherish sincere compliments but sometimes I have a hard time accepting them.
5. Do you play Sudoku? It involves numbers…so no. But I'll tell you this: Sudoku was spelled wrong on the meme, and I just corrected it. So there!
6. If abandoned alone in the wilderness, would you survive? I might. By running to civilization.
7. Did you ever go to camp as a kid? We had a cabin. That WAS my summer camp.
8. What was your favorite game as a kid? I liked Scattergories. And card games.
9. Would you slow dance with someone that you knew was married? At a wedding or something for fun? Sure. If it was intended to be something other than just having fun dancing, then no.
10. Could you date someone with different religious beliefs than you? Yes. If I wasn’t married.
11. Do you like to pursue or be pursued? I give you Shakespeare.
Helena:
"We should be woo'd and were not made to woo."
A Midsummer Night's Dream (II, i, 242)
12. Use three words to describe yourself. Nerdy, giggly, loyal
13. Do any songs make you cry? Oh God yes. Lots of them. The one that immediately comes to mind is the Christian funeral song, “On Eagles’ Wings.” Jesus. I can’t even think about it or I burst into tears. "The Star Spangled Banner" gets me once in a while. There are other songs, connected to experiences and moments.
14. Are you continuing your education? I will if I can ever afford it. I really think there should be a Dr. in my title. Even though it won’t be in medicine.
15. Do you know how to shoot a gun? No. But I bet I’d be a good shot if I practiced.
16. If your house was on fire, what would be the first thing you grabbed? Molly. If she’s a “thing”. Otherwise, probably my photo box and my jewelry box. I don’t have anything expensive, but stuff rich in memories.
17. How often do you read books? I try to read a LOT. Like, a book a week. But I’ve been falling behind . . .
18. Do you think more about the past, present or future? Probably a lot about the future. I should stop doing that so much and focus on here and now.
19. What is your favorite children's book? Whoa. Um. What Do People Do All Day?, any Dr. Seuss, Island of the Blue Dolphins, the Ramona Quimby series... this list could go on forever.
20. What color are your eyes? blue
21. How tall are you? 5'6’’
22. Where is your dream house located? Probably on the beaches of South Maui. But, you know, I really like the one I have now. It's home.
23. Have you ever taken pictures in a photo booth? I absolutely LOVE photobooth photos. We used photobooth photos for our save-the-dates.
24. When was the last time you were at Olive Garden? Um, probably the last time I was there was the time that I accidentally dined and dashed, about six years ago. I wrote the check out, but I must have been distracted, and I didn’t put it in the little holder thing. I found it when I went to write my next check…which was a long time afterward. I called and apologized…and dropped off another check. I couldn't live with the guilt, even though the manager told me it was OK.
25. What is the furthest place you traveled today? Work? Not very far. 12 miles.
26. Do you like mustard? Mmm, yes. And it’s fat-free.
27. Do you prefer to sleep or eat? What? I can’t choose.
28. Do you look like your mom or dad? I look exactly like my mother. I don’t even look related to my dad.
29. How long does it take you in the shower? A long time. Probably 15 minutes. It’s an indulgence.
30. Can you do the splits? Never could, never will.
31. What movie do you want to see right now? Something engaging and good.
32. Do you think The Grudge was scary? I didn’t see the whole thing.
33. Do you own a camera phone? Yes.
34. Was your mom a cheerleader? No
35. What's the last letter of your middle name? N
36. How many hours of sleep do you get a night? I try to get 8. It’s usually more like 7. I need more like 10.
37. Do you like Care Bears? I did when I was a kid. I also recently tried to trick someone into thinking I had a stomach tattoo in Old English font that said Care Bear Stare. It almost worked.
38. What do you buy at the movies? If I buy something, it’s usually an Icee.
39. Do you know how to play poker? Kind of, but I have the WORST poker face. I don’t play.
40. Do you wear your seatbelt? Always.
41. What do you wear to sleep? It depends on my mood.
42. Anything big ever happen in your hometown? We have the worlds’ smallest park! HELL YEAH! Top that!
43. How many meals do you eat a day? 2.5-3, usually.
44. Is your tongue pierced? No.
45. Do you like funny or serious people better? Funny people. But seriosity is important. And yes, I made that word up.
46. Ever been to L.A.? No, but someday I will have met the Cali girls!!!
47. Did you eat a cookie today? Yes! Although I find I crave them less and less. My sweet tooth is apparently going away.
48. Do you use cuss words in other languages? Does dummkoff count? I think that’s German for dumbass. (actually, dumbhead, now that I look it up). And I never really use that. It was just the only swear word in another language I could think of.
49. Do you steal or pay for your music downloads? Pay to play, baby, pay to play. Unless it’s Pandora, which isn’t a download.
50. Do you hate chocolate? I’m not psycho, so no.
51. What do you and your parents fight about the most? With my dad? Politics. With my mom? I don’t really fight with her.
52. Are you a gullible person? I don’t think so. Years of my older brother making up stories has made me more critical.
53. Do you need a boyfriend/girlfriend to be happy? I’m married… but I didn’t find him until I felt good about myself.
54. If you could have any job (assuming you have the skills) what would it be? Feature writer for national magazines, with a book deal, of course.
55. Are you easy to get along with? I think so….
56. What is your favorite time of day? Seeing William after a long day; when I climb into bed, Mo jumps in, and we snuggle and read for a while.
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