drive off in a hyundai

a few words you never want to hear your dad say to you, as you happily peruse the new j.crew catalogue: "so, when did you ding up your car?"
me: huh? what are you talking about? (thinks about cashmere sweater)
dad: looks like you did a pretty good job.
me: don't say that! (bolts outside)

yep. dinged it up pretty good. i'd call it more than a ding. some moron took off some paint and left some ugly green paint behind, on the back bumper, sort of side and back. i just stood in shock. my dad felt bad, so he went to get a sponge and bucket. he wiped it off and we got some stuff off, but it pulled the paint off (my sexy! black! paint! i had! to have!)and now i'm stuck with some godawful teal paint--get some taste, moron! anyway, it could be worse and all that, but i'm super sad about my poor little hyundai. she's only three! this is the second not-my-fault bumper problem!

to the jerkstore that hit my car and ran: i hope you have a series of horrible days. i hope your alarm clock doesn't go off tomorrow. i hope you crave brownies and you're psyched to bake, but don't have the eggs to make them. i hope you run out of gas while you're already running late, on an exit ramp. i hope you get a speeding ticket for your fast getaway. i hope your email breaks at work. all day. i hope your date stands you up. i hope the IRS suddenly says you owe them about $600.

i may just have a little hyundai, but you didn't have to hit it and rip off all the paint and leave your ugly green paint on my car. i work hard to pay for my car, and this is one setback i didn't need. you should have sucked it up and left me a note with your phone number and an i'm sorry. get some humanity.