Pandemic

For once in my life, I'm SO GLAD I don't live anywhere near Mexico. I embrace my frozen tundra of a home, where even viruses have the presence of mind to live elsewhere.

Also, I hate that this is all blamed on the pigs. Pigs are cute. Intelligent. And one of the only animals that can get sunburned, and I can get with that. One thing bad about pigs? I love pork. Bacon. Can't think about the two. Must keep separate.

And now, a swine flu haiku:

bacon, i love you
staying healthy is awesome
no armageddon

Carry on, with your surgical mask.

flying friendly skies, finally

That's right people, I am my own comic book character. Art done by William, taken from a photo he loves of me (I cannot figure out why he likes it so much.) Nonetheless, I love the comic book look he did to it. :)

And I deserve it today, people. I deserve to feel like a comic book character. Yesterday, my sister called me in a panic. Apparently ATA airlines had gone of out of business, suddenly and abruptly, leaving ticketholders stranded. I put two and two together pretty quickly . . . "Who's on ATA?" I ask. We leave in like . . . 50 days.

"Mom, Dad, Grandma, Chris, and Sarah," she says, effectively naming off all my immediate family besides her and her family.
I said something along the lines of "You have to be kidding me."

"I can't get a hold of Chris," she said. "I don't know if they know yet." (Chris is my brother; Sarah is his girlfriend; they booked their tix on the same flight but separately from my parents and grandma.)

Luckily I was on the way to my parents house as we spoke, so I arrived in a panic and immediately logged on to the grand ol' interwebs. My family was scheduled to fly the first leg through Northwest, then transfer to ATA for the rest. If that was the case, the website said, call the first airline you booked with.

I get on the phone with Northwest, expecting the worst.

I explain what has happened to the woman on the phone (the very nice, super accommodating, woman of my year hero). She puts me on hold and is gone for at least 20 minutes. My level of freaked-outed-ness is rising with every moment that passes.
She returns.

"We can refund your money entirely (whew, that's a relief, at least it won't all be lost, I'm thinking), or we can offer you seats on a different flight, but it will [effectively double] the cost," she says.

"Double?" I say, scared.

My mom says, "Take the refund."

I'm too scared to take the refund—what if we don't find seats later? What if they get even MORE expensive? But I grudgingly say, "I guess we'll take the refund."

I can't remember if this was the point where I mentioned something about it being my wedding yet or not. I think maybe not. Maybe it was the tone of my voice. She says "OK, let me start the process. I have to put you on hold."

Another 20 minutes passes. Now I'm really nervous. What is taking so long?

She returns. "OK, actually, I can get the three people on the flight for the lowest price. So that means status quo. But that might change in the next five minutes, so you have to decide now."

"OH MY GOD! You mean like no charges no nothing, same price, done deal?" I ask.

"Yes," she says.

"Oh my God, thank you so much, this is for my wedding and is like my whole immediate family and yes we'll take the deal, oh my god, thank you so much," I realize at this point I'm gushing like an idiot and having one of those bridal moments, but I don't even care.

"Oh congratulations!" she says, her voice warming over the phone. "How exciting! I'm so glad I double checked some things!"

"Oh wait," I say. "There's one problem. My brother and his girlfriend are also on this flight and I want them to be able to get the same deal but they booked separately . . . is there .... any . . . any chance at all that could happen?"

I'm figuring flat "No" at this point since security and all and I don't have their flight info or credit card or even if they know what's HAPPENED yet.

I start furiously texting Sarah as she puts me on hold yet again to check on the possibility.

She comes back, as I'm getting a text from Sarah, who's a little confused but hanging with my hastily typed (misspelled, vague) texts anyway.

"Well, ma'am, we'd love to, but they've already been issued a refund for their tickets."

Nooooooooooo.....

"Well, um, I KNOW that they would want this deal," I say, praying they haven't rebooked elsewhere yet. "I just KNOW." She puts me on hold again.

Minutes pass. I hear about the frequent flyer miles program for the eleventy millionth time.

She returns, "Ok ma'am, I think we can do that. Just hang on here while we transfer all this around." Then, a few moments later, "Ok, you can check out your itinerary online already, everything is all fixed up for you."

I fall all over myself thanking her for her help and the awesome rates and all that.

She cuts me off.

"I'm glad I could help! Now, are you getting married on the beach?"

The wedding privilege has kicked in, people. I swear that was the key. I honestly just mentioned it, not trying to get any special deals. But how else can you explain her letting me change someone ELSE'S flight, after they credited a significant sum back on their credit card? With airport security issues? And all she really wanted to know was the details of the wedding.

Aw, yeah. The wedding card got whipped out!

In other news, I saw Jessie Spano on the Today show the other day, and m'lawdy, she's had Botox! Talk about permanent surprise, but otherwise total lack of facial expression.

First bridal shower is tomorrow with my future mother-in-law! I'm excited!

Four freelance jobs lined up that should take me through this month, so that's good news, too. They're all things from people I know or had connections to, so we'll see what happens with cold applications and pitches and the like. That will be a big moment for me, if it happens.

And it's gonna be 58 degrees today! Nice way to head into a weekend, despite my blinding headache, second day running. I actually had those floaty stars yesterday and couldn't look at my computer. It was crazy.