Electric Feel

Dear Baby,

Time is going so fast. Last week I measured in at 28 weeks instead of 27, so besides the calendar pages flying off the tablet like they do in old black-and-white movies, you've also kicked up the growing a notch.

I've gained 20 pounds. Everyone says I'm carrying it well, whatever that means. Your dad says I don't look pregnant from the back. But I feel pregnant everywhere. You're getting bigger and making yourself more known to me by the day. You've sent up a little heartburn but it's been mercifully short spurts (so far, anyway, but keep up the good work!) I'm tired, too, I can feel the second-trimester energy waning a little already. Tonight I had to take a little snooze on the couch while I "watched" 60 Minutes.

Last night we had a get together with three other couples, two of whom have gone before us into the parenting abyss. They gave us lots of funny advice and some sweet presents —a cute dress and a t-shirt that predicts you're going to grow up to be a monkey wrangler. Given your dad's level of energy, that may well happen! It was nice to be with them, and to see how our friendships have grown and how we've changed over the years. Unsolicited advice: loyalty is a totally underrated virtue these days. When you find good friends, stick with them through thick and thin. You won't always agree, you won't always be in the same phase of your lives at the same time, but it is always good to have people in your life who have known you forever, and love you just the same. Those are often the people who will catch you when you fall, and help you laugh it off.

Speaking of, he is busy painting your room as I type this. We picked pink. Cliché? So what? I love pink. And it's not too hit-you-over-the-head pink. Paris White, actually. French people even do white better than we do. I can't wait to get your room all put together—we have fun plans. It won't be a total pink-a-palooza. You just kicked your approval, so I'm guessing you'll like it. What color is it in there? Maybe sort of pink, right? I hear you can open and close your eyes now, and I think that maybe you had hiccups last night.

Now that we're actually making your little nest, we also registered for some goodies to get you started when you get here, which some kind-hearted people are excited to provide for you. Driving home, your daddy turned to me and said "I am so excited to be having this baby girl with you." It melted me to my toes. He already knows he's in deep with you—he was picking out princessy dresses and snuggly teddy bears for you today when we should have been picking the more boring, but safe and necessary stuff, like car seats and the like.

We started our birth classes last week, too, to learn about how to take care of each other through this last phase before you come out, and for the days leading up to and on your birthday. Our doula is teaching the class, and she is fun and funny. I'm glad we chose her to help us on our first big day as a family.

Baby, I look at your cousin Gus, who is only 6 months old, and I am so in love with him that if I think of it too much, it brings tears to my eyes. I can only imagine the depth and complexity of the feelings and love that will evolve as you grow, not only from your daddy and me and Murray and Ernie, your fursiblings, but your extended family and our friends, who are so excited to meet you. I hope my heart can handle it!

On one hand, I want to stop time, hit the pause button, do the Zack Morris time out: I feel like I need more than the 90 or less days I have left with you in my belly to wrap up business ... nursery, showers, holidays, birthdays, last-fling friend times, work stuff, decisions about your birth and all that comes after, etc. It's a long, pressure-filled (but mostly joyful!) list, and I'm not sure how I'm going to manage everything once you come and shake up my entire universe. It's coming like a freight train.

But on the other hand, I cannot wait to have you in my arms. I know it will be like the day I married your dad (best choice ever), where I cannot believe it is actually here, but here we go, and oh, it will be better than anything I had ever imagined happening to little old future me.

Love,
Mama