This has been a really terrible week, not going to lie.
At least once a day (sometimes more) this week—no exaggeration—I have heard bad news, the really serious kind of bad, not the "oh that's irritating" kind of bad. It gets put in perspective when it's homes, natural disasters, jobs, deaths, unkindnesses and injustices in an already ugly time.
I'm drained, peeps. A lot of it is stuff I don't feel I have license to write about here—I'm sorry, I don't like being cryptic or hanging the "I've got a secret" thing out there—just because they are stories that belong to friends and family, and they probably wouldn't appreciate them broadcast here and they came to me as a confidant. A lot of loss this week. A lot.
Among the things I can talk about here are the fact that one of my favorite teachers died this week. I have had horrible stomachaches every day. I have had to comfort people when I had no words of advice or helpfulness. It has been 40 below all week. (I know I'm Minnesotan, but this is getting inhumane.) I have two pairs of socks on. Two. I have my scarf on. In my house.
I'm feeling the weight of the world these days. I feel sad. I feel like there's a lot to think about, absorb. I feel misunderstood, on some levels. I feel helpless. I feel like these are supposed to be the years I've worked for, planned my successes for, and I feel like I look around and the world is crashing down.
I feel like I can't even clearly articulate it.
I have had some really high highs and low lows over the past year, and mostly I have felt good, loved, motivated, and more optimistic (or at least hopeful for change) than I ever have. But this week has so missed the mark, in a huge way. This is an ugly time, and I feel sad that all my peers, and people that I love deeply, are hurting, struggling. I don't want to start 2009 like this at all.
16 comments:
All the best to you, your family, and your friends. I hope things get better soon.
ditto the monkey. i know how sucky it is to start a year off with so much bad news (that was 2008 for me), but hopefully things look up soon. keep up your spirit.
hang in there, babe. we're all here for you.
So sorry you and the people you care about are having a bad week, month, whatever. It's a bad way to start 2009, but the rest of the year will improve. I'm confident about that. Hang in there.
Oh no! I'm sorry to read about the rocky start to 2009...
and I'll save the whole "it'll get better stuff" and just say that while I don't necessarily personally know you, I know that you're a strong person that can get through anything.
I'm thinking of you & your friends & family who are hurting, and I hear ya about this HORRIFIC weather. It just makes everything seem so ... bleak. I wish I could give you a big hug right now!!
Here's a beautiful Emily Dickinson poem that touches on love & loss. I thought you might like it:
And if I go, while you're still here ...
know that I live on,
vibrating to a different measure
behind a thin veil you cannot see through.
You will not see me,
so you must have faith.
I wait for the time when
we can soar together again,
both aware of each other.
Until then, live your life to the fullest
and when you need me,
just whisper my name in your heart,
...I will be there.
Awww I'm sorry you're going through a tough week. January totally feels melloncollie, i agree. Keep warm and snuggle with your honey this weekend
::hugs::
I hope things get better for you soon too. And for your friends and family. I'm sure they are all thankful that they have a friend/relative like you right now.
This is so horrible. I'm hoping things get better for you and those you care about.
Maybe you need an escape. The LA girls will cheer you up! The weather doesn't hurt either.
Sorry to heare you are having a rough time! If you ever need to talk I am here!
I'm sorry you're having a tough week. I know how that can be. Hang in there and just think of everything going up from here. All sorts of hugs and good thoughts to you, your family and friends.
oh, dear. i hope that whatever is happening works itself out.
but hey - it can only get better, right? that's what i keep telling myself. silver lining, baby, silver lining!
I'm sorry to hear you're going through all that. Hope it gets better. :(
Kat, thanks so much for your comment today. You get me.
I'm going to try and give you a little silver lining, although truth be told it's really hard for me to find these days too. If January is already bad then the rest of 2009 should be an improvement. Not perfect or a breeze to get through, but an improvement. I think we're at an age and time where bad stuff will happen whether we want it or not. Ready or not. It's how we deal with it that will decide our future. Here's a *hug* for you my dear. I really hope things look up.
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